The freaking Doomslayer can’t punch under water? What kind of bullshit isthis shit?
Oh, this isn’t going to be a fight at all. Well, it’s Doom; it’s always a fight.
Let’s make this personal!
Oh good. I’ve been saving this for you. Oh, you have a buddy.
I had one shot left in that cannon when I killed that second one. Haha!
And my parents were worried about Mortal Kombat.
Mongols just standing there minding their business, then I came in and fucked up their Christmas...hey, that rhymes!
(sees red enemy outline around dogs) Are you going to make me kill dogs? Dammit. I’m going to try to kill everyone but dogs. (Did he? Did he? I’ll let you speculate on that!)
(Fighting a Mongol boss) I don’t speak douchbag, sorry.
Sorry about the mess! Most of that was the Mongols!
(grabbing supplies and steel from peasants before riding out of town.) Grabbing supplies! These are, um, Mongol supplies!
(an enemy starts shooting at him while he’s fighting another) No! No arrow shit!
[climbs house, runs around roof, jumps off roof] Surprise samurai!!! Damn, nobody’s here.
(You can have Jin, the PC, disrobe, climb into a hot spring and muse on one of a few topics that are presented to you. Yes you get to see samurai butt. We both admired the samurai butt this session because we managed to hit the hot spring at the Golden Hour when the sun was setting and bathing the scene, and the butt, in a warm glow.)
Ooh, steel, sweet! Sorry lady, I know you wanna get off this ship and everything but samurai-in’ ain’t cheap.
opening a chest while looting a ship Cool. This job has paid for itself.
considering what to do next You know, that’s going to be a slog. Just a lot of Mongol-killin’.
enters house Good afternoon, I’m not taking off my sandals because you haven’t taken yours off, either.
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