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I've got enough now, thank you! :)

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I have been writing and rewriting the opening of Deadfall, and I'd like someone who hasn't read the previous version, either as a beta or when I posted it under lock last year, to read the first 1450 words and answer a couple of questions.

I suppose I should mention the genre: secondary-world fantasy inspired by Italy and central Europe of the 30 Years' War era.

1) What questions are raised in your mind? Are they the sort that result from story-killing confusion or the sort that intrigue you to read on to learn more?
2) Would you keep reading? If not, at which point would you stop and put the book down?

Those who have beta-read are welcome to read and comment, but as you already know the answers to questions I am attempting to raise in this section, it'll be harder to figure out how they land to a new audience. :)

I'm not looking for grammar/spelling type stuff here, but a broader overview as to whether or not this opening is working. Copy editing will come later, when I've got the thing figured out.

ANYWAY, drop a comment here and I'll DM you a Dropbox link to the Word doc. You can email or DM me your response.

THANK YOU!
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I'm currently reading the first book of Brian McClellan's second powdermage trilogy. Haven't read the first trilogy yet because I wasn't grabbed by the Amazon sample, but I might go back to it.

Anyway, the MacGuffin in this book resembles the MacGuffin in mine fairly closely in form and effects, although not in its use in the plot except for one scene. Which is totally fine, because these things happen. But if mine gets published I can tell that I'm going to have people saying "Did you steal that from McClellan?" and I'm going to have to explain that no, I stole it from Glen Cook and gave it a faint whitewashing of Skyrim.

BTW, the Midjourney AI bot can now be invited to Discord servers with less than 1000 members. Caveats: you'd need a free trial account to use it with the 25-image limit, or a paid account to do more, the images are still subject to their content restrictions*, and the images would also be visible over on the Midjourney Discord (hence the content restrictions). But given how busy the server is, I'd be very surprised if anyone even saw it.

So: given those caveats, is there any interest in me spinning up a Discord and inviting y'all along with the bot?
It would allow someone with a free account a chance to mess with the AI without having to dive into the main Midjourney Discord, and look on and talk about it without a bunch of randos.

As these things go, I'd expect engagement in the near future, then we'd all forget about it and go elsewhere, but that's how they do.

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Access List, participants: 9

Would you appreciate an invite to a not-exactly-private Discord server for Midjourney stuff?

Sure, I'd love to play about with Midjourney in a less chaotic environment
6 (66.7%)

Sure, though I'd probably just spectate
1 (11.1%)

Snazo
2 (22.2%)

Mello's fabulous ass
2 (22.2%)

You really need to get some more in-jokes as those previous two are over a decade old and counting
2 (22.2%)




* I've had prompts that generated results that looked vaguely like artistic nudity that haven't been removed. OTOH when I was rating images and came across one that I'm 99.999% sure someone used a copy of goatse to generate, you can bet I reported that puppy at the speed of light.
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Mostly being somewhat sick? Sporadic GI thing off and on for a week that also included exhaustion, probably made worse by dehydration. Was ill Sunday a week ago, almost passed out in the shower Monday, I assume due to dehydration and overheating. Called off work Monday. Went in Tuesday and Wednesday, but Wednesday afternoon the GI thing came back, and I called off Thursday and then Friday because I felt so sluggish.
Cut for desk, IKEA, exercise... )
Anyway! [personal profile] myrialux commissioned a painting of Burn and Calli from Deadfall/Deadwater from [personal profile] yhlee for me as a surprise! :D Go see it here on his DW.
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I traded [personal profile] yhlee a Music for the Yoonifier random story prompt generator. In Deadwater, there's reference to a song circulating that misrepresents the events of Deadfall*. I of course moaned to [personal profile] yhlee that it meant I had to write the damn thing, and what with one thing and another I am currently eight verses in, and using traditional ballad meter, and more-or-less fitting it to "The Huntes upp," ('The Hunt is Up," a traditional ballad). When I offered to make him a personalized random prompt generator, he asked what I wanted in return and I remembered him saying something about how it might be fun to arrange a Renaissance ballad tune...

*If you're new here, fantasy novella-in-progress and novel-in-progress.
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Who know anything about draft horses. XD Does this make sense, or would you look at it askance? (I frankensteined the description from a webpage on draft horses.)
As the bargemaster handed Calli into the Pretty Pelia, she noted that the tow horse was a large draft sorrel, with a deep, strong foot, not the mule she expected.
From what I gather, most horseboats are pulled by smaller horses unless they're pulling heavier loads, but I have the bargemaster explaining they're picking up a load of limestone after the passengers get off. I mostly needed something to hint that Calli knows a bit about horses.
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I'm on the mailing lists for a few academic publishers, because I like to poke through their lists when they have sales on for useful history, anthropology, etc. books for writerly research.

I suspect I'm not the only one. Today I'm looking at geography books at Routledge, because one of my side projects is a map of the larger world of my book, which I should really get around to naming one day, and I'm now mildly panicking about weather, climate, landforms, etc. and I want a good basic geography-cartography book to look at. On the page for An Introduction to Geological Structures and Maps, which might actually be a wee bit advanced for what I'm doing (and is expensive enough I'll ILL it if we don't already have a copy in the library), I happened to scroll to the bottom and spotted the Recommended For You section...
cut for suspense )
That's a list of books for writers if ever I saw one.
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I'm heading into my edits on Deadwater and need to figure out what my beginning actually is, and managed to serendipitously come across this post where an editor critiqued a number of openings authors submitted. That link goes to the Adult Fantasy category, but she's got other posts for other genres.

I'm going through it and taking notes for my own use, keeping in mind that each of these critiques is specifically aimed at the entry in question, but quite a lot of it is universal.

But I just hit "I might be a bit jaded because I read so many unpublished novel openings per year, but I feel that starting a novel with a character disoriented and in pain is a trope and probably won’t stand out to agents," and OH LORD YES so many self-published fantasy novels on Amazon start like this! If they don't start with the main character disoriented and in pain, they start with the MC running from pursuit, or sneaking through a location on the way to their job which is about to go hideously wrong.
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I celebrated completing the draft of Deadwater back in January by commissioning art from Adam Barker ([twitter.com profile] Satans_Masque; Adam Barker on Artstation; [instagram.com profile] adambarkerart)

Click here for a larger version

If it's too dark to see much, your monitor isn't calibrated correctly. :) I do empathize: my work monitors are cheap and cannot be calibrated properly so it's a bit muddy, but the image is GLORIOUS on my home monitor which is very much not cheap because I do art there. If you're stuck with a terrible monitor, I used Photoshop to crank the brightness up so you can see the details, at the expense of pretty much everything else in the image. XD

Anyway! If you care about the process of commissioning and what I asked for, and what he suggested, read on!

With a bit of discussion between us, we settled on illustrating a scene from Deadfall, where Calli and Burn sit in an inn. The actual scene is the final paragraph, but the rest sets it up.cut for passage )

I blathered at him about Caravaggio, chiarascuro, and my favorite genre of "Dramatically Lit People Sitting Around Tables in Early Modern Europe," and dumped a giant list of reference links on him, which he took in stride. I'd mentioned drawing the viewer into the picture by setting it up as if you were the one talking to them, and he took that idea and, inspired by the first-person drawings of Kim Jung Gi ([instagram.com profile] kimjunggius), took it a step farther and incorporated the hands of the local that Calli and Burn are talking to.

He kept me appraised of the various steps, and would show me concept sketches, character designs and color studies, having me pick from various options, and we ended up with what you see. :)

I am thrilled with the end result, and would recommend Adam Barker for any commission work you want done. :)
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Not in any particular order. This is just a small selection of the books I've come across or used, and basically all the ones I've read or downloaded from the library at work aren't on here because that's far, far too many to deal with. Links are Amazon affiliate links, for the hell of it.

Books I've used for research or inspiration: Read more... )

Books waiting in stacks (physical or digital) for me to get to:Read more... )

Books I have in sample form on my Kindle to decide whether I want to drop the cash and put them in one of the aforementioned stacks:Read more... )
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I am DONE WITH THIS DRAFT!

It clocks in at ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED SEVENTY FOUR words! (Not counting the approx 26K of Deadfall.)

And here is my VErY DEEP AND TOUCHING, EXTREMELY WELL-WRITTEN final line, which you will remember for ALWAYS:
[INSERT VERY TOUCHING ENDING PARAGRAPH OR TWO RIGHT HERE AND THIS FUCKER IS DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE]
(In all seriousness, I feel I need to reread the whole thing to come up with the proper resonances that should be here.)

Anyway. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!

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