The Italian book

[telophase]

I promised some pictures from the Italian workbook, didn't I? Well I have very little time to post because I have to go off and do more Italian from the book tonight. :D But here's three. We get to focus on Mark Cardelli today, because of his snazzy sweater-vest. The six-legged dog and the lecherous vampire (I am not kidding. About either) will have to wait for another day.

The question of the day is: Mark Cardelli. Metrosexual or gay?

Here are the players in the little drama. The room is a seething mass of drama and desire, as you can tell. Oh, you think I'm kidding about that, huh?



A simple scene, is it not? Our main protagonist, Dina, is the young woman with long black hair and hoop earring in the front. Next to her is Paul, and in from of them the professor, Maria Giuisti, is gesturing toward Mark Cardelli as she introduces him. Innocent, right? Look more closely.

There's nothing out of order with Dina, but you will note that Paul has his eyes fixed firmly on la professoressa Giusti's boobs, and his left hand is nowhere to be seen. He's not even bothering to take notes, you'll notice. If you look to the right, just on the other side of the professor, yu see an unnamed young lady, turned full-body towards Paul, staring at him with melancholy longing. Track back to the couple sitting next to Mark. You know them. They're the lovebirds who have the perfect relationship, who came to do their year abroad together and will never be seen more than eighteen inches apart.

Now go back to Dina. Follow behind her until you see the other young lady. She's staring fixedly ... at Dina. I like to think I detect a note of sweet hope in her eyes. She's got competition though, if you look behind her. There's a slightly skeezy fellow who's leaned to the side just to get a good look at the back of Dina's head.

We're going to ignore the zombies sitting next to and in front of the girl with the crush on Dina. Go back to the skeezy guy, and see his neighbor. She seems to have her eye out for Mark. Mark of the argyle sweater-vest. I think maybe she hopes in vain, because I've got a sneaking suspicion that Mark is gay. It's not just the sweater-vest, although, I have to say that it is indeed mostly the sweater-vest.




Here we have scene 2: Dina in the foreground introducing Paul to a friend of hers, Mirella. If you read the relevant section of the dialogue, you can see that Mirella's not too impressed with Paul:

Dina: Ti presento Mirella.
Paul: Ciao, Mirella! Di dove sei?
Mirella: Sono di qui.

Dina introduces Mirella to Paul, who starts right in with the interrogation: Hi, Mirella! Where are you from? Mirella quashes him with a flat "From here." Dina, however, is alert to her friend's tone and rushes Paul right off:

Dina: Dove vai, Paul?
Paul: In centro!
Dina: Arrivederci!
Mirella: Ciao!
Paul: Ci vediamo!

Dina changes the subject with a deft "Where are you going, Paul?" WHen he enthusiastically answers "Downtown!" she immediately leaps in with a "Good-bye!" before he can add something like "But it's not important!" And Mirella rushes him on with her "Bye!" and Paul is left with nothing to say but "See you!"

And now we turn our attention to what's going on in the background. Mark has just met the prefessor's assistant, la signora Martini. THey exchange pleasantries and then move on. Mark's looking mighty dapper in that aryle sweater-vest, isn't he? His hair is neatly cut and groomed, unlike Paul's mop, his pants fall and break perfectly at his shoes, and he's carrying an overcoat of some sort. He's really working that Ward Cleaver look, isn't he? Hmmmmm.

And now our third and final image of the evening:




Later that evening, Mark and Dina are taking a short rest in the piazza.

Mark: Dina, dove vai?
DIna: Vado a dormire.
Mark: Perché?
Dina: Perché ho sonno.

Mark asks Dina where she's going, and upon hearing that she's going to bed (Dina? Are we trying to subtly seduce Mark? It's not going to work), asks, incredulously, "Why?" Adn she is forced to explain that she's sleepy because Mark is not picking up on the subtle hint. (Paul, however, would be on it like a shot. You know he would.)

Mark is obviously gearing up for a night on the town. He's exchanged the argyle for his sold-color evening sweater-vest, restyled his hair to pouf up a little bit, and is carefully sitting so as not to crease his pants. I think he's on the prowl, and he's brought the book along to signal that he prefers a partner who likes the intellectual sort. The only thing missing is horn-rim glasses.

Dina, girl, I'm sorry. He's just not that into you. See how stiff he is? And how he's protectively clasping teh book in front of him, and is leaning slightly away? He didn't miss that hint, hon. He's just gone into defensive mode, with the babble about why you're going to bed. It continues:

Mark: Sei stanca?
Dina: Si, sono molto stanca. E domani ho un appuntamento.
Mark: Con chi?
Dina: Con un'amica. Buananotte!
Mark: Buananotte!

Mark is determined to continue along this line, asking if she's tired. Dina is fairly perceptive, as we learned from teh Paul/Mirella debacle, and decides to invent an appointment so as not to sound desperate. Mark presses relentlessly onward (Mark, I think you're enjoying watching her dig her hole deeper. YOu know she can't go out now, in case she runs into you): "With who?" Dina then resorts to the generic "A (female) friend." and ends the encounter with a firm "Good night!" Mark calls after her "Good night!" And yes, Mark is thinking, yes it certainly will be a good night if I have any say in the matter.

ETA: Mark might actually already have a date - you'll note that in teh first picture, the guy to the right of the professor's bun is looking back over his shoulder at Mark, who does seem a bit distracted and surprised to be singled out by the professor. I think maybe Mark's meeting him in the piazza, and knew he was going to be a bit early, so brought a book.

Comments

[sophia-helix.livejournal.com]

Bwah! This is making me want to scan in two pictures from my college Spanish book -- one with a hilarious set of upbeat images on the cover, and with a somewhat disturbing picture of a girl surrounded by a group of boys on motorbikes who look like they're about to gang-bang her.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I always wonder what they get up to when they're not involved in the inane conversations in the text.

There are also furries in the book - occasionally, for no reason, a dog and a cat sunbathe or build snowmen or whatever.

[homasse.livejournal.com]

*g* Aren't textbooks great sometimes?

[telophase.livejournal.com]

:D And you don't even have to make subtext up - it's all there to be seen! XD

[badnoodles.livejournal.com]

I kind of like the guy sitting behind the chick making eyes at Paul. He's attempting to re-enact the adrenaline-to-the-heart scene from The Rock (or possibly Pulp Fiction) except with a ball point pen. He's even got the great death's-head grin going on.

Except that the angle's bad, so it's possibly someone else attempting to stab him to death in the middle of class, and the smile is one that says "I will sing your praises in heaven, sweet Angel of Mercy."

Y'know, I've been in that class. Except it was Calculus, not Conversational Italian.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

You're right, he is stabbing himself or gettign stabbed.

I think the girl looking at Paul may eventually hook up with him, because when he gets the idea that Dina really prefers the metrosexual look, he'll be on the prowl, not really caring about who he hooks up with. I think they'll meet on the piazza, have a night of bad, drunken sex, and she'll think that it means he really loves her.

I see nothing but heartbreak ahead.

[badnoodles.livejournal.com]

Actually, the more I look at it, the more it looks like he's getting the vamp treatment from some Buffy-wannabe. "Oh crap! I'm about to be reduced to a fine powder!" (Thus tying in with the vampires and six-legged dogs alluded to in the opening paragraph)

[literaticat.livejournal.com]

Fun, I want to learn Italian!

[telophase.livejournal.com]

It's so much more fun when you make up stories like this. I really should do so and try to do them in Italian.

[selenite.livejournal.com]

Italian is clearly the best language for this. My German texts were full of "Achtung!" eyes-front poses. Sure, they might've been thinking all sorts of stuff, but wouldn't dare let it show in public.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

One of the audio courses I listened to, on Great Music, claims that the Italians have significantly more and more passionate operas because of the language - lots of vowel sounds that you can hold for long periods of time in the arias, while German is much more gutteral and harder to write opera for, so they rarely achieve the heights of Italian opera.

This book is much more fun than my previous Italian textbook and my old French book, though. I have to wonder if the artist knew what he or she was doing - Paul's eyes fixed on the professor's chest is especially obvious, and Mark's stiffness in the third picture is pretty obvious, too. :D

[tokyoghoststory.livejournal.com]

i love it so much i wanna hurl.

[tokyoghoststory.livejournal.com]

ps, the guy checking out dina looks like some dude i know. he srsly looked like an alien in person.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

:D It's all there! I just had to point it out!

[cicer.livejournal.com]

XD Greatest analysis of a foreign language textbook ever.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

In my college Italian class, when we had to make up skits and give them in front of the class, I always wanted to do The Continuing Adventures of ---- and ---- (the two characters in the book who were always having insipid covnersations about the weather). I figure they had to be some sort of spies talking in code or soemthing, because nobody's conversation is that boring all the time.

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

I wish you'd been in my French classes. :)

[telophase.livejournal.com]

:D I wasn't able to convince them to do that, but we did twit the professor a bit. He was always working Sophia Loren into the conversations (Hai una foto di Sophia Loren? if I remember that right), so we did a skit with me as Sophia Loren in enormous sunglasses reading a fan letter written by the professor, as played by one of the guys int eh class. The other person in our group might have played the professor's mother or soemthing; I don't remember.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

And what I forgot to say - my roommate at the time was taking Russian, and they did Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood in Russian, and for years afterward she'd run around singing "Won't you be my neighbor?" in Russian.

[new-kate.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is really awesome. Thanks! Eee, sweater vest guy on a prowl.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

:D I had my suspicions after the scene on the street, but when I saw their conversation in the piazza, and how he was leaning away from her ... it was totally obvious. XD

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

*dies* The sweater vests! Dina is reaching out and he is all 'ugh! girl germs!'

And in the top picture that girl right at the back has totally just come in to steal all the text books.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Hee. :D Poor Dina. Leafint rhough the book, Dina goes from guy to guy, never quite connecting, and ends up with this Italian guy named Alessandro. At elast, he takes her home to dinner with his parents and they argue over the television.

[i-smile.livejournal.com]

it looks like the unnamed young lady in the first picture is actually looking at Maria Giuisti's bum. And, man, I totally thought the professor's assistant was a scruffy Rod Stewart-type man. (Maybe Mark thought so, too. He looks kind of interested. At least, more than he was interested in Dina.)

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I like to think she is merely sighing in unrequited passion for the scruffy Paul. She doesn't realize she could do so much better. XD

Yeah, la signora Martini is a bit on the mannish side, and I think she's married (I don't know if women of a certain age get called 'signora' if they're unmarried or not). I think poor Mark may have Issues with women, especially young vivacious ones like Dina, and prefers the company of Women in Comfortable Shoes, heterosexual or not.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[telophase.livejournal.com]

:D It makes the book so much more interesting, doesn't it?

[cerusee.livejournal.com]

My god, you're right!

[telophase.livejournal.com]

My Italian textbook is a seething pit of fornication and corruption, yes, all disguised as an innocuous conversation.

[kintail.livejournal.com]

Oh bravo!

Proof that observational techniques learned from reading manga can enhance any illustrated educational text, too! Manga helps us learn! Manga makes us smart! ~_^

[telophase.livejournal.com]

It's all about the context!

[wyrdness.livejournal.com]

I also think that girl in the back (next to the one stealing textbooks) is looking at the guy behind Dina and Paul with a stalkerish intensity of obsession. Where as the guys worried expression clearly says he can feel her eyes boring in to him with the precision of a laser beam.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Yes, that would defintiely explain the zombie-ishness of his demeanor...

[oneiroelpida.livejournal.com]

My roomate and I do this sort of thing with our Japanese textbook. Then again, our Japanese textbook is odd. There was even a picture of a woman (shoes removed, of course) on the edge of a building and the guy shouting behind her "Please don't die!" My Japanese teacher simply said his country was way too obssessed with suicide...

[telophase.livejournal.com]

So: what is the correct level of formality to use when confronting a would-be suicide?

[oneiroelpida.livejournal.com]

Well, the Japanese was "Shinanai de Kudasai", which is relatively polite if you're talking someone down from a ledge, I suppose. I mean, if you wanted to be impolite you could just leave off the kudasai...It's important to say "Please" if someone's going to commit suicide and you don't want them to. It really is the magic word.

[m00nface.livejournal.com]

And the one in the back with the glasses? That's telophase, taking notes. (That room must be a hotbed of scandal - just look at how many notebooks you've already filled up!)

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Shhh! Don't let anyone know! I'm going to make a tell-all manga about this! XD