Things Toby (and I) Have Said While Playing Final Fantasy VII Rebirth

[telophase]

Marvel as Cloud Strife pushes a Zamboni!
Thrill as Cloud Strife turns a valve!
Watch as Cloud Strife lurches slowly through a burning village!
We paid $70 for this shit.

Comments

[tessercat]

...dang

[telophase]

We’re still in the beginning part, where Cloud’s story of why Sephiroth wants to kill everyone is being dramatically illustrated through playable flashback. It’s just that the game is trying to teach us things and fighting is only part of it…Cloud has had to maneuver a giant vacuum/AC/Zamboni-looking thing to clear gas out of a room, then turn a valve for…I forget what, then lurch slowly through the burning village because he’s been injured and of course in the next scene which takes place directly after that one chronologically he’s flipping and fighting as usual.

Sigh. I hope the Zamboni-moving, valve-turning and lurching are just ways that they came up with to enliven what is basically a giant cut scene and not core gameplay mechanics.

We got the game to fill the time between myrialux’s finishing of Baldur’s Gate III and the release of Star Wars Outlaws at the end of next month, and I hope it’s not tedious. (And all of these games are to kill time before Dragon Age: Veilguard drops sometime this fall! Hopefully!)

[tessercat]

Fingers crossed that Square did actually remember what genre they were in and what gameplay fans wanted.

[movingfinger]

Now I wonder whether, in the vein of the soothing lawnmower and tidying games, there is a Zamboni-driving game.

[telophase]

I wouldn't be extremely surprised if there wasn't one. I have an image in my mind of what it might look like but I don't know if I made it up in all its low-poly glory or if I saw it on one of the many, many gaming-themes listicle videos that myrialux and I watch from Eurogamer, Outside Xbox, Outside Extra and Polygon.

[adafrog]

lol