An important message you can't afford to miss!

[telophase]

Velociraptor season is here. Are you prepared? The American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention has the info you need to know.

* Velociraptor attack is the 3rd leading cause of death for men age 27-29.
* Velociraptors can open doors, but are slowed by them. They can open an initial door in approximately 5 minutes, and will take half that time for each subsequent door.
* Velociraptors do not know fear.

Comments

[jspurlin.livejournal.com]

*gets rifle, ammo, and high ground, in the Get Smart compound*

(what, lots of doors, duh)

[the-z.livejournal.com]

I'd like to see a velociraptor make it through a revolving door. Con-goers can't even figure that one out.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I went to Worldcon in Chicago some time ago, and had a broken toe at the time, so I was hobbling around on a hard shoe. It being Chicago, the hotels all had revolving doors. Invariably, every time I slowly hobbled into one of them, some jerk would come in behind me and *push it faster*, forcing me to hurt myself in order not to get knocked over by the door. I am nonconfrontational and contented myself with glaring at whoever did it, but I really wish I'd yelled at some of them.

[the-z.livejournal.com]

Isn't it funny? People rush through revolving doors but become inanimate objects on escalators and moving sidewalks.

[badnoodles.livejournal.com]

ahh, xkcd comics. This one (http://www.xkcd.com/c135.html) (among a couple of others) is the one referenced on that website, but this one (http://www.xkcd.com/c123.html) and this one (http://www.xkcd.com/c136.html) are my favorites.

[tygerr.livejournal.com]

I bet a 'raptor could do it. It'd be *sober*, after all.

(I'm just glad that I personally made it through those awkward "raptor-prone" years in my late 20's.)