![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
The Eventful Life and Brief Death of Murderface McKenzie.
Like a lot of people, I saw AI Weirdness' post today on a new(ish) AI-generated text adventure game.
Therefore I immediately sent Murderface McKenzie on an adventure. It's no more weird and bizarre than his life usually is, I suspect.
(context for those who are new to this DW: Murderface McKenzie is my not-very-intelligent and super-clumsy Skyrim character. I have many writeups in and amongst my "Skyrim" tag.
Pick a setting.
0) fantasy (recommended)
1) mystery
2) apocalyptic
3) zombies
4) custom
Enter the number of your choice: 0
Pick a character
0) noble
1) knight
2) squire
3) wizard
4) ranger
5) peasant
6) rogue
Enter the number of your choice: 5
What is your name? Murderface McKenzie
You are Murderface McKenzie, a peasant living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork and a nothing else. You wake up and begin working in the fields. You see a beautiful woman named Nettie who you fall for immediately.
"I'm going to kill you!" she screams at you.
> You stand there and look stupid.
"No! I'm not killing you!" you say. "I don't want to hurt you".
She looks down at her feet and then back up at you. She smiles and says,
> Say "I didn't hear what you said.".
"I didn't hear anything," you reply. "It was just a dream".
"What do you mean it was just a dream?"
"Well, it's not like I can remember everything that happened when we were together".
> You remember past.
"Oh... Well, it's okay then," she replies. "I guess it wasn't real after all".
> You sigh.
"Look, I'm sorry if I scared you", you say.
"N-no, it's fine..". she says. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to kill me again".
> You say "Did I kill you before?".
"Yes, but I forgot about it. It's been so long since we've done this..".
> You back away slowly with pitchfork raised.
"Okay, I won't kill you again. But if you ever try to hurt my family again, I will..".
> You run.
"I'll be waiting for you on your doorstep".
And with those words, you turn around and run as fast as you can towards the door. The next day, you wake up from your nightmare. You're still feeling sick, but you know you need to get out of here
> You pack stuff into backpack.
You grab some food and water, which you think you might need. Then you grab some clothes and a few other things. You also take your knife, because you feel like you should protect yourself.
As you walk through the forest, you start hearing strange noises coming from behind trees
> You say "WHo's there?".
"Wha's there?" you ask.
"That voice. That's the voice of the man who killed my sister. He said he would come find us, and now he has".
> You take out knife.
"Alright, alright, calm down. Just listen. We're gonna go hide somewhere. Somewhere where nobody could see us or hear us. And if anyone comes looking for us, well they'd better hope that thing doesn't come back to life and attack them instead".
> You ask "What thing?".
"The thing is, I don't really know. I think it's some sort of monster, but I don't even know if it's alive yet. All I know is, it's gonna be very bad if we stay here any longer. So let's go!".
> You run.
You quickly run off as fast as you can, and soon you realize that you're no longer alone. There are several figures standing nearby, holding pitchforks and axes. They seem to be watching you intently.
> You say "Don't make trouble, won't be none.".
"Don't make trouble, won't be none"., you reply.
> You wait for the figures to do something.
"Hmm, okay then. Let's go then"., one of them says.
They begin walking off, leaving you alone. You sit down on a rock and wait for them to return. After a while, you hear a noise. A loud noise
> You look for the thing that made the noise.
You look around and see that the figure that left you had disappeared. You then notice that the noise came from behind you. You immediately jump up and run off as fast as you can.
You run along the edge of a cliff, and suddenly you feel an intense pain in your stomach
> You clutch stomach.
You clutch your stomach, and then you fall to the ground. As you lie there, you feel nauseous. You cough up blood and vomit. You continue coughing until you pass out
> You wake up.
You awaken to find yourself lying on the floor of a dark room
> You look for backpack.
You search around for the backpack, but you don't find it. You then look around for the person who left you, but you don't find him either. You then look around for the person who made the noise, but you don't find him either
> You look for a weapon.
You look around for a weapon, but you don't find anything. You then look around for the person who made the noise, but you don't find him either. You then look around for the person who made the noise, but you don't find him either
> You describe the room.
You describe the room as being dark and cold. You see a table covered with various items, including a map, a book, and a bunch of keys. On top of the table sits a humanoid creature. It's head is completely bald, and its skin is pale blue
> You take the map, the book, and the keys.
You pick up the map and the book, and put them in your pocket. You then pick up the keys and put them in your pocket. You then look around for the person who made the noise, but you don't find him
> You talk to the creature.
You stand near the table, and speak to the creature.
> You say, "Do you have anything for sale?".
It looks at you, and nods.
> You ask the creature what it has for sale.
It asks you what you want, and you tell it.
> You read the book.
You open the book, and begin reading aloud the description of the room.
> You read the book.
It reads aloud the description of the room.
> You look at the map.
You look at the map, and see that the room is located at the end of a long hallway.
> You mug the creature.
You approach the creature, and begin mugging it. The creature attempts to fight you off, but fails miserably. Eventually, you knock it out, and take it away
> You rob the creature.
You place the creature into a bag, and take it away. You then walk through the corridor, and arrive at the door to the room.
> You eter the room.
You enter the room, and see that the creature is dead. You then look around for the person who killed the creature, but you don't find him
> You loot the creature's pockets.
You grab the man's wallet, and take his watch. You then grab his keys, and take his axe. You then grab his knife, and take his pistol. You then grab his rifle, and take it back home
> You look around.
You look around, and find that the room is empty. You then look around, and find that the room is empty. You then look around, and find that the room is empty. You then look around, and find that the room is empty
> You leave the room.
You exit the room, and head back outside. You then wander about the countryside, looking for any sign of the person who sent you here. You eventually come across a group of people playing cards. They seem to know who you are, though they aren't talking to each other
> You say, "Deal me in.".
The dealer smiles, and hands you a card. You then stare at the face of the card, and try to guess what it is.
> You say, "Is this your card?".
The dealer nods, and says, "Yes, yes it is". You nod, and say, "I'm going to kill you".
> You wait for the dealer to reply.
The dealer speaks again, "No, no I'm sorry, I can't help you. I'm not even sure if I've ever met you before". You shrug, and say, "Well, I'll be seeing you soon, so good luck".
> You hit the road.
You continue walking, until you reach the outskirts of town. You decide to go to the nearest tavern, where you hope to get some food and drink.
> You enter tavern.
You enter the tavern, and sit down at one of the tables. You order a beer, and eat some bread. You then head to the bar, and order another beer.
> You flirt awkwardly with the barmaid.
You flirt awkwardly with the barmaid, and begin making small talk. Eventually, she asks you something.
> You reply.
You respond, "How do you like my hat?" She replies, "Oh, it's beautiful! I love hats!" You smile, and say, "Thank you, I really appreciate it!". She laughs, and tells you to enjoy yourself.
> You attempt to flirt awkwardly again.
You attempt to flirt awkwardly, but fail horribly. Finally, you give up, and return to your table.
> You drink more beer.
You finish your beer, and start drinking more beer. Soon, you're drunk enough that you fall asleep on your stool
> You fall off stool.
You wake up, and stagger over to the bar. You order another beer, and begin ordering more drinks.
> You drink more.
You drink more, and soon pass out completely.
> You snore.
You lie there, as you slowly drift off..
> You dream.
You awake, groggy from your drunken stupor. You quickly glance around, and realize that you're still in the tavern. You also notice that you're lying on your stool. You stand up, and walk over to the stool
> You order breakfast.
You order breakfast, and eat it. After finishing your meal, you notice that you're still lying on your stool. You shuffle over to the stool, and sit down.
> You leave tavern and look for a job.
You leave the tavern, and travel along the roads. Eventually, you arrive at a large city. It appears to be bustling with activity. You wonder how you could find work here.
> You look for work.
You wander around the streets, and finally find an office building. The building seems to be full of people, all working. You wonder if you should join them.
> You apply for a job.
You enter the building, and ask for a job. A young woman wearing a suit comes out of the office. She looks at you, and says, "Hello, Mr...Mr..".
> You introduce yourself.
You answer, "My name is...Murderface McKenzie, I need a job", She smiles, and says, "Of course, Mr...Murderface. What kind of job would you like?"
> You say "A job that lets me use my strengths of hitting people.".
She smiles, and says, "Hmm, sounds like a job for you. We have several positions available. Would you like to see them?", you nod, and she leads you into a conference room.
> You look around conference room.
You walk through the conference room, which is filled with many people. Some are sitting at computers, others are writing papers, and some are just chatting with friends. Suddenly, you hear a loud noise coming from the left side of the room
> You pull out axe.
You pull out an axe, and swing it towards the wall. The axe smashes through the wall, and slices through a man's neck. He screams, and falls backwards, his body hitting the ground. You turn around, and see a group of men standing behind you
> You say "Anyone want some of this?".
You raise your hand, and they all raise their hands. They each take a bite of the man's neck, and gurgle blood. You laugh, and say, "That was fun, now let's move on to the next victim".
> You lead the men.
You lead the men out of the conference room, and into a corridor. You follow the men, who are laughing and joking about the situation. Eventually, you come across a door. You open the door, and find yourself in a large foyer
> You look around the foyer.
You look around the foyer, and see several guards patrolling the area. You wonder what will happen next.
> You wait patiently.
You wait patiently, until you hear footsteps approaching. One of the guards approaches you, and whispers to you, "I'm sorry, but we've been alerted of a murder in progress in the foyer. Follow me". You nod, and follow him
> You follow guard.
You follow the guard, and eventually, he leads you to a large room. In the middle of the room stands a man, dressed in a black cloak. He holds a longsword, and begins chanting.
> You hold up axe defensively.
You hold up your axe defensively, as the man continues chanting. Suddenly, he raises his sword, and swings it at you. You block the attack, and then spin around, swinging your axe at the man. He blocks the blow, and kicks you in the stomach
> You shoot fire from left hand.
You aim your gun, and fire a stream of flames from your left hand. The flame engulfs the man, burning him alive. He screams, before falling to the floor. You turn around, and see the guards rushing into the room
> Say "I found this man on fire!".
You shout, "I found this man on fire! Kill these fools!" The guards kill the three men, and take the bodies back to the barracks. They report the incident to the king, who orders you to be put under house arrest.
> You protest.
You protest, saying that you were only defending yourself against an attacker. The guards agree, and tell you to go home. You thank them, and head home
> You look for work as a mercenary.
You look for work as a mercenary. You manage to get hired by one of the towns' merchants. He pays you well, and gives you a nice house to live in. You enjoy your new life, until one day, you wake up, and find that you're no longer human
> You describe yourself.
You awaken, feeling cold. Your eyes burn, and you feel a strange pain in your chest. You scream, and run outside, where you fall to the ground. You cry out, and yell, "Help! Help! Someone help me!" Someone does, and runs to your aid
> You say "What is happening to me?".
You explain,
> You say "My chest hurts".
You gasp, and say, "Yes, it hurts. My heart stopped beating, and my chest burned. I don't know why. I can't die, because I'm not dead yet..".
> You die.
You collapse, and begin to fade away
> You die.
You die, and fade away
Therefore I immediately sent Murderface McKenzie on an adventure. It's no more weird and bizarre than his life usually is, I suspect.
(context for those who are new to this DW: Murderface McKenzie is my not-very-intelligent and super-clumsy Skyrim character. I have many writeups in and amongst my "Skyrim" tag.
Pick a setting.
0) fantasy (recommended)
1) mystery
2) apocalyptic
3) zombies
4) custom
Enter the number of your choice: 0
Pick a character
0) noble
1) knight
2) squire
3) wizard
4) ranger
5) peasant
6) rogue
Enter the number of your choice: 5
What is your name? Murderface McKenzie
You are Murderface McKenzie, a peasant living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork and a nothing else. You wake up and begin working in the fields. You see a beautiful woman named Nettie who you fall for immediately.
"I'm going to kill you!" she screams at you.
> You stand there and look stupid.
"No! I'm not killing you!" you say. "I don't want to hurt you".
She looks down at her feet and then back up at you. She smiles and says,
> Say "I didn't hear what you said.".
"I didn't hear anything," you reply. "It was just a dream".
"What do you mean it was just a dream?"
"Well, it's not like I can remember everything that happened when we were together".
> You remember past.
"Oh... Well, it's okay then," she replies. "I guess it wasn't real after all".
> You sigh.
"Look, I'm sorry if I scared you", you say.
"N-no, it's fine..". she says. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to kill me again".
> You say "Did I kill you before?".
"Yes, but I forgot about it. It's been so long since we've done this..".
> You back away slowly with pitchfork raised.
"Okay, I won't kill you again. But if you ever try to hurt my family again, I will..".
> You run.
"I'll be waiting for you on your doorstep".
And with those words, you turn around and run as fast as you can towards the door. The next day, you wake up from your nightmare. You're still feeling sick, but you know you need to get out of here
> You pack stuff into backpack.
You grab some food and water, which you think you might need. Then you grab some clothes and a few other things. You also take your knife, because you feel like you should protect yourself.
As you walk through the forest, you start hearing strange noises coming from behind trees
> You say "WHo's there?".
"Wha's there?" you ask.
"That voice. That's the voice of the man who killed my sister. He said he would come find us, and now he has".
> You take out knife.
"Alright, alright, calm down. Just listen. We're gonna go hide somewhere. Somewhere where nobody could see us or hear us. And if anyone comes looking for us, well they'd better hope that thing doesn't come back to life and attack them instead".
> You ask "What thing?".
"The thing is, I don't really know. I think it's some sort of monster, but I don't even know if it's alive yet. All I know is, it's gonna be very bad if we stay here any longer. So let's go!".
> You run.
You quickly run off as fast as you can, and soon you realize that you're no longer alone. There are several figures standing nearby, holding pitchforks and axes. They seem to be watching you intently.
> You say "Don't make trouble, won't be none.".
"Don't make trouble, won't be none"., you reply.
> You wait for the figures to do something.
"Hmm, okay then. Let's go then"., one of them says.
They begin walking off, leaving you alone. You sit down on a rock and wait for them to return. After a while, you hear a noise. A loud noise
> You look for the thing that made the noise.
You look around and see that the figure that left you had disappeared. You then notice that the noise came from behind you. You immediately jump up and run off as fast as you can.
You run along the edge of a cliff, and suddenly you feel an intense pain in your stomach
> You clutch stomach.
You clutch your stomach, and then you fall to the ground. As you lie there, you feel nauseous. You cough up blood and vomit. You continue coughing until you pass out
> You wake up.
You awaken to find yourself lying on the floor of a dark room
> You look for backpack.
You search around for the backpack, but you don't find it. You then look around for the person who left you, but you don't find him either. You then look around for the person who made the noise, but you don't find him either
> You look for a weapon.
You look around for a weapon, but you don't find anything. You then look around for the person who made the noise, but you don't find him either. You then look around for the person who made the noise, but you don't find him either
> You describe the room.
You describe the room as being dark and cold. You see a table covered with various items, including a map, a book, and a bunch of keys. On top of the table sits a humanoid creature. It's head is completely bald, and its skin is pale blue
> You take the map, the book, and the keys.
You pick up the map and the book, and put them in your pocket. You then pick up the keys and put them in your pocket. You then look around for the person who made the noise, but you don't find him
> You talk to the creature.
You stand near the table, and speak to the creature.
> You say, "Do you have anything for sale?".
It looks at you, and nods.
> You ask the creature what it has for sale.
It asks you what you want, and you tell it.
> You read the book.
You open the book, and begin reading aloud the description of the room.
> You read the book.
It reads aloud the description of the room.
> You look at the map.
You look at the map, and see that the room is located at the end of a long hallway.
> You mug the creature.
You approach the creature, and begin mugging it. The creature attempts to fight you off, but fails miserably. Eventually, you knock it out, and take it away
> You rob the creature.
You place the creature into a bag, and take it away. You then walk through the corridor, and arrive at the door to the room.
> You eter the room.
You enter the room, and see that the creature is dead. You then look around for the person who killed the creature, but you don't find him
> You loot the creature's pockets.
You grab the man's wallet, and take his watch. You then grab his keys, and take his axe. You then grab his knife, and take his pistol. You then grab his rifle, and take it back home
> You look around.
You look around, and find that the room is empty. You then look around, and find that the room is empty. You then look around, and find that the room is empty. You then look around, and find that the room is empty
> You leave the room.
You exit the room, and head back outside. You then wander about the countryside, looking for any sign of the person who sent you here. You eventually come across a group of people playing cards. They seem to know who you are, though they aren't talking to each other
> You say, "Deal me in.".
The dealer smiles, and hands you a card. You then stare at the face of the card, and try to guess what it is.
> You say, "Is this your card?".
The dealer nods, and says, "Yes, yes it is". You nod, and say, "I'm going to kill you".
> You wait for the dealer to reply.
The dealer speaks again, "No, no I'm sorry, I can't help you. I'm not even sure if I've ever met you before". You shrug, and say, "Well, I'll be seeing you soon, so good luck".
> You hit the road.
You continue walking, until you reach the outskirts of town. You decide to go to the nearest tavern, where you hope to get some food and drink.
> You enter tavern.
You enter the tavern, and sit down at one of the tables. You order a beer, and eat some bread. You then head to the bar, and order another beer.
> You flirt awkwardly with the barmaid.
You flirt awkwardly with the barmaid, and begin making small talk. Eventually, she asks you something.
> You reply.
You respond, "How do you like my hat?" She replies, "Oh, it's beautiful! I love hats!" You smile, and say, "Thank you, I really appreciate it!". She laughs, and tells you to enjoy yourself.
> You attempt to flirt awkwardly again.
You attempt to flirt awkwardly, but fail horribly. Finally, you give up, and return to your table.
> You drink more beer.
You finish your beer, and start drinking more beer. Soon, you're drunk enough that you fall asleep on your stool
> You fall off stool.
You wake up, and stagger over to the bar. You order another beer, and begin ordering more drinks.
> You drink more.
You drink more, and soon pass out completely.
> You snore.
You lie there, as you slowly drift off..
> You dream.
You awake, groggy from your drunken stupor. You quickly glance around, and realize that you're still in the tavern. You also notice that you're lying on your stool. You stand up, and walk over to the stool
> You order breakfast.
You order breakfast, and eat it. After finishing your meal, you notice that you're still lying on your stool. You shuffle over to the stool, and sit down.
> You leave tavern and look for a job.
You leave the tavern, and travel along the roads. Eventually, you arrive at a large city. It appears to be bustling with activity. You wonder how you could find work here.
> You look for work.
You wander around the streets, and finally find an office building. The building seems to be full of people, all working. You wonder if you should join them.
> You apply for a job.
You enter the building, and ask for a job. A young woman wearing a suit comes out of the office. She looks at you, and says, "Hello, Mr...Mr..".
> You introduce yourself.
You answer, "My name is...Murderface McKenzie, I need a job", She smiles, and says, "Of course, Mr...Murderface. What kind of job would you like?"
> You say "A job that lets me use my strengths of hitting people.".
She smiles, and says, "Hmm, sounds like a job for you. We have several positions available. Would you like to see them?", you nod, and she leads you into a conference room.
> You look around conference room.
You walk through the conference room, which is filled with many people. Some are sitting at computers, others are writing papers, and some are just chatting with friends. Suddenly, you hear a loud noise coming from the left side of the room
> You pull out axe.
You pull out an axe, and swing it towards the wall. The axe smashes through the wall, and slices through a man's neck. He screams, and falls backwards, his body hitting the ground. You turn around, and see a group of men standing behind you
> You say "Anyone want some of this?".
You raise your hand, and they all raise their hands. They each take a bite of the man's neck, and gurgle blood. You laugh, and say, "That was fun, now let's move on to the next victim".
> You lead the men.
You lead the men out of the conference room, and into a corridor. You follow the men, who are laughing and joking about the situation. Eventually, you come across a door. You open the door, and find yourself in a large foyer
> You look around the foyer.
You look around the foyer, and see several guards patrolling the area. You wonder what will happen next.
> You wait patiently.
You wait patiently, until you hear footsteps approaching. One of the guards approaches you, and whispers to you, "I'm sorry, but we've been alerted of a murder in progress in the foyer. Follow me". You nod, and follow him
> You follow guard.
You follow the guard, and eventually, he leads you to a large room. In the middle of the room stands a man, dressed in a black cloak. He holds a longsword, and begins chanting.
> You hold up axe defensively.
You hold up your axe defensively, as the man continues chanting. Suddenly, he raises his sword, and swings it at you. You block the attack, and then spin around, swinging your axe at the man. He blocks the blow, and kicks you in the stomach
> You shoot fire from left hand.
You aim your gun, and fire a stream of flames from your left hand. The flame engulfs the man, burning him alive. He screams, before falling to the floor. You turn around, and see the guards rushing into the room
> Say "I found this man on fire!".
You shout, "I found this man on fire! Kill these fools!" The guards kill the three men, and take the bodies back to the barracks. They report the incident to the king, who orders you to be put under house arrest.
> You protest.
You protest, saying that you were only defending yourself against an attacker. The guards agree, and tell you to go home. You thank them, and head home
> You look for work as a mercenary.
You look for work as a mercenary. You manage to get hired by one of the towns' merchants. He pays you well, and gives you a nice house to live in. You enjoy your new life, until one day, you wake up, and find that you're no longer human
> You describe yourself.
You awaken, feeling cold. Your eyes burn, and you feel a strange pain in your chest. You scream, and run outside, where you fall to the ground. You cry out, and yell, "Help! Help! Someone help me!" Someone does, and runs to your aid
> You say "What is happening to me?".
You explain,
> You say "My chest hurts".
You gasp, and say, "Yes, it hurts. My heart stopped beating, and my chest burned. I don't know why. I can't die, because I'm not dead yet..".
> You die.
You collapse, and begin to fade away
> You die.
You die, and fade away
no subject
This may be my holiday relaxation!!!
no subject
I recommend saving frequently because it occasionally hung up on me!
edit: I also just fixed the text, which I didn't realize had the full text of the game up to where it hung itself and I reloaded posted twice. It's now shorter. XD