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It's like I'm living in a comedy or something...
This evening has been a dramatic dialogue with various customer service reps when all I wanted to do was mess about with Sims 3.
Last Thursday, we get the bookcases we ordered from IKEA and the table we ordered from Target delivered:
Delivery guys with IKEA stuff: Hi, they overbooked the truck so we couldn't fit all 15 boxes into the truck, so here's 10 of them, we'll tell them about this and you'll need to call in and tell them about this, too. *leave without leaving copy of delivery paperwork behind, which we don't notice until today*
UPS-delivered Target console table: *1 screw hole of 6 is missing metal threads, rendering table unable to be put together.*
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telophase via Target online contact form: POLITE RAGE RAGE PLZ TO BE SENDING EITHER METAL THREADS OR NEW TABLE LEG.
Target: *crickets*
Today, after a week of being in denial, via email contact form because IKEA customer service for web orders is closed:
telophase: RAGE RAGE RAGE CAPSLOCK 2/3 OF ORDER DELIVERED WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO DELIVER REST RAGE *send off*
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myrialux: Hey, I've been looking at these boxes and I think we've got them all. There's only two that say there's more than one box, and they're labeled 1 of 2 and 2 of 2. It seems to match up with what we ordered.
telophase: *headdesk**headdesk**headdesk*
IKEA auto-reply, an hour later: Hi! We're sorry to hear you're having trouble with your IKEA credit card! Here's some things you can try and a number you can call if they don't work! If this doesn't answer your question, reply to this email!
telophase: Two things: First, WTF credit card?! Second, plz to be changing the nature of my complaint from missing pieces of order to DELIVERY DRIVERS ARE NIMRODS. Plz to find delivery paperwork and confirm number of boxes, then plz to be contacting delivery company and raging at them for me, kthxbye.
myrialux: Has Target got back to you?
telophase *calls Target*
Target Phone System: *inappropriately peppy music interrupted by woman apologizing for not answering the telephone for 15 minutes*
Target CSR: *bzzt* *crackle* --llo, how can I help *bzzt* today?
telophase: Metal screw threads missing from screw hole in table leg, unable to put together, help.
Target CSR: *dead silence* *bzzt* *crackle* So there's *bzzt* string missing? *crackle*
telophase: Let's just say one leg is damaged.
Target CSR: You can *bzzt* *crackle* store and ask *bzzt* replace it.
telophase: It's an online-only item!
Target CSR: Just *bzzt* minute. *dead silence for three minutes* I'm transferring you to *bzzt* *crackle*
telophase: Kicked up to Tier 2 tech support! Awesome!
Target Tier 2 Support: *voice clear as a bell* How may I help you?
telophase: SCREW THREAD MISSING WTF HELP PLZ
Target Tier 2 Support: *small talk as he's pulling up order info and table info during which he admires the table and says he has a similar coffee table* Well, there's two options I can offer you. I can contact the manufacturer and see if they're willing to send out a replacement part, or you can just return it to the store because this online-only item is refundable through our stores, and order a new one from the online store.
telophase: *blink* *blink* *blink* OPTION 2 PLZ
Target Tier 2 Support: There's usually never a problem, but here let me create a reference number so if the store gives you any grief, have them call Target HQ with this number and we'll straighten everything out.
telophase: AWESOME KTHXBYE
telophase, to myrialux: TOTALLY AWESOME IDEA Let us to be ordering said new table from Target dot com before returning said old table to Target the store, and when it gets here let us to be opening up said table's box and inventorying said table's parts and then to be plundering said old table's bits if need be before returning said old table to Target the store.
myrialux: Sounds great *continues playing Deus Ex*
Last Thursday, we get the bookcases we ordered from IKEA and the table we ordered from Target delivered:
Delivery guys with IKEA stuff: Hi, they overbooked the truck so we couldn't fit all 15 boxes into the truck, so here's 10 of them, we'll tell them about this and you'll need to call in and tell them about this, too. *leave without leaving copy of delivery paperwork behind, which we don't notice until today*
UPS-delivered Target console table: *1 screw hole of 6 is missing metal threads, rendering table unable to be put together.*
telophase via Target online contact form: POLITE RAGE RAGE PLZ TO BE SENDING EITHER METAL THREADS OR NEW TABLE LEG.Target: *crickets*
Today, after a week of being in denial, via email contact form because IKEA customer service for web orders is closed:
telophase: RAGE RAGE RAGE CAPSLOCK 2/3 OF ORDER DELIVERED WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO DELIVER REST RAGE *send off*myrialux: Hey, I've been looking at these boxes and I think we've got them all. There's only two that say there's more than one box, and they're labeled 1 of 2 and 2 of 2. It seems to match up with what we ordered.telophase: *headdesk**headdesk**headdesk*IKEA auto-reply, an hour later: Hi! We're sorry to hear you're having trouble with your IKEA credit card! Here's some things you can try and a number you can call if they don't work! If this doesn't answer your question, reply to this email!
telophase: Two things: First, WTF credit card?! Second, plz to be changing the nature of my complaint from missing pieces of order to DELIVERY DRIVERS ARE NIMRODS. Plz to find delivery paperwork and confirm number of boxes, then plz to be contacting delivery company and raging at them for me, kthxbye.myrialux: Has Target got back to you?telophase *calls Target*Target Phone System: *inappropriately peppy music interrupted by woman apologizing for not answering the telephone for 15 minutes*
Target CSR: *bzzt* *crackle* --llo, how can I help *bzzt* today?
telophase: Metal screw threads missing from screw hole in table leg, unable to put together, help.Target CSR: *dead silence* *bzzt* *crackle* So there's *bzzt* string missing? *crackle*
telophase: Let's just say one leg is damaged.Target CSR: You can *bzzt* *crackle* store and ask *bzzt* replace it.
telophase: It's an online-only item!Target CSR: Just *bzzt* minute. *dead silence for three minutes* I'm transferring you to *bzzt* *crackle*
telophase: Kicked up to Tier 2 tech support! Awesome!Target Tier 2 Support: *voice clear as a bell* How may I help you?
telophase: SCREW THREAD MISSING WTF HELP PLZTarget Tier 2 Support: *small talk as he's pulling up order info and table info during which he admires the table and says he has a similar coffee table* Well, there's two options I can offer you. I can contact the manufacturer and see if they're willing to send out a replacement part, or you can just return it to the store because this online-only item is refundable through our stores, and order a new one from the online store.
telophase: *blink* *blink* *blink* OPTION 2 PLZTarget Tier 2 Support: There's usually never a problem, but here let me create a reference number so if the store gives you any grief, have them call Target HQ with this number and we'll straighten everything out.
telophase: AWESOME KTHXBYEtelophase, to myrialux: TOTALLY AWESOME IDEA Let us to be ordering said new table from Target dot com before returning said old table to Target the store, and when it gets here let us to be opening up said table's box and inventorying said table's parts and then to be plundering said old table's bits if need be before returning said old table to Target the store.myrialux: Sounds great *continues playing Deus Ex*
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