kylo ren appears to have fallen asleep on our couch

You may be asking yourself, "Self, why do telophase and myrialux have a Kylo Ren pillow?" And the answer to that would be How dare you speak to us that the mother of myrialux is pretty vague on what, exactly, her offspring likes, and therefore goes "Oh look, a Star Trek thing!" and buys it when shopping for Christmas presents.

Also, while Kylo Ren began his nap, I got on the treadmill for ten minutes, then decided enough was enough, quit, and had a five-minute coughing fit.