InsomniAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

[telophase]

I'm fairly sure I've been awake since 3:15 AM. Fairly sure because I can't say for certain that I didn't drift off for very short snatches of dreamless sleep here and there, but I usually have vague dream-memories of that sort of thing, and I only had one*, about 6:30 or so.

So, yeah, today is fun. At work, but have left open the option of going home and napping. No headache so far, which is what I'm most worried about - short sleep can trigger migraines for me.

I'm also pretty sure that it's due to the medication adjustment. We had to drop the Strattera down because it was making me feel like barfing, and I could feel the effects on my ADD correspondingly lower, so the psychiatric nurse I see suggested adding some Wellbutrin, which apparently fine-tunes the effects of Strattera. I took 100mg for a week, during which I had a few sleep disturbances at the beginning of the week that sorted themselves out by the end, and then went to 200mg, which seemed not to be doing much to my sleep. Until last night. I'm continuing on this dose for a few days more, but if this continues I'll drop back down to 100mg and call the nurse.

What I found fascinating was that I could sense the ADD-controlling effects of the meds wear off as I lay there. With the meds, when I'm trying to fall asleep, I've got a wonderfully blank mind that is only occasionally disturbed by thoughts intruding, like earworms, stuff I did that day or stuff I've got to do the next day, worrying at whatever is bothering me, etc. But without, there is NO END to those thoughts. I can't turn them off. And the switchover occurred about 5:45 AM.

So I think a fairly accurate representation of the inside of my head prior to 5:45 AM is:

................................. *repetition of short musical break from
Fallout: New Vegas* ..............................................
.........................................................................
................................. *musical break* .......................
.........................................................................
................................. what? oh, a cat just jumped on me .....
.........................................................................
oh dear, the cat on me is now hissing at the other cat *roll over* ......
.........................................................................

After 5:45 AM it's more like:

*musical break* .. *musical break* .. *musical break* ..*musical break* .
. *musical break* .. *musical break* .. which cat is that? .. Riders on
the storm. Riders on the storm. .. Into this world we're born ....
dum dee dum dee dum, riders on the storm .. ok now try to focus .....
I should blog this .. no, stop composing the post and try to sleep ......
don't look at the clock .. hey, train whistle in the distance .. dum dee
dum dee daa, sweet memory will die, riders on the storm .. what? oh, the
heater turned on .. dear god will this song ever end? .. *musical break*

Anyway. Lots more thoughts than those, but that's all I remember. I have no idea why the Doors showed up in my head in the wee hours of the morning.

Before Strattera, that was my head ALL THE TIME. And all of the thoughts had equal weight of importance, so I couldn't just dismiss them, and in fact the more you try to dismiss them, the harder they come back. I reeeeeally like the ability to have a thought float in and then back out without effort.

Blargh.

* An image of a man with a mustache in an office chair.

Comments

[mscongeniality.livejournal.com]

Huh. That is pretty much what it's like in my head all the time. I suspect it's why I never get anything done.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

To some extent, it's just part of being awake, but when you can't relegate the irrelevant thoughts to the background to focus on what you need to do, ARRGH.

[mscongeniality.livejournal.com]

when i told my shrink about my brain going around like that and stopping me from sleeping, he prescribed ambien. i hate ambien because it makes me groggy for far longer than it is supposed to, so i just stopped mentioning it.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I've got some Trazodone to help me occasionally sleep, but I need at least 8 hours if it's not to make me groggy, so waking up at 3AM means I can't take it then. I wonder if taking it tonight will help me get through the night? Might try it tonight, just to catch up on my sleep debt.

[mscongeniality.livejournal.com]

I ♥ trazodone. it's the only thing that allows me to sleep without grinding my teeth. the not sleepwalking thing is like a bonus.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I love the vivid dreams I often get on it.