For your morning shot of adrenaline...

[telophase]

If you are unaware of the Food Network show Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade, then, well, you should bask in your innocence and perhaps not read the rest of this.

If you're still reading this entry and don't know what it is, it's a show where the host creates a meal* using pre-made ingredients, cans, frozen foods, etc. Right now you're saying "But that's what people often do, right?" No, not in this way.

To prove this to you, I present (stolen from wordsofastory), Sandra Lee's ten worst dessert disasters. Example:

#2: Star of David Angel Food Cake

You know what they say: if your Hanukkah Meringues didn't offend the neighbors, you can always try the Star of David Angel Food Cake. You know what sucks about a bundt cake? That annoying hole! Sandra Lee fixed that problem right up...by jamming it full of marshmallows. Which are made from gelatin and not particularly kosher, a detail that wouldn't really matter much unless you were, say, making a cake for a Jewish holiday. No matter! The marshmallows are soon forgotten under a layer of Jewish blue frosting. Finally, she tops it with a Star of David made from pearls. What happens to the marshmallows when you cut into the cake? It doesn't matter, because no one will ever cut into this cake

* With, naturally, cocktails, which you suspect she was imbibing when coming up with these recipes, and a "tablescape", which basically means crap piled on the table because you didn't want to actually put serving dishes on the table or see the person sitting across from you.

Comments

[madspark.livejournal.com]

That's... horrible.

[ebony14.livejournal.com]

Wow. It's just like real baking, except that there's no regard for flavor or pride in one's work. (To say nothing of the religious and racial insensitivity in the Top Three.)

This woman sounds like the kind of person that thinks that the Easy-Bake Oven cakes were the finest deserts ever made.

[chisotahn]

*cries*

Sandra Lee is terrifying. It's kind of obvious how much the booze is looked forward to (wow that was an awful construction).

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I could probably make some sort of scholarly thing about how she seems to be an updating of the 1950s and 60s 'home gourmet' movement, where you were encouraged to just throw together the contents of a few cans of food* and hey presto, you had a 'gourmet' dinner. I envision her staggering around a cocktail party in a tight black dress and spike heels, encouraging everyone to taste the cheese log.




* Cream of mushroom soup, especially.

[raventhourne.livejournal.com]

She's almost up there with my Katie Couric and Rachey Ray hate...almost....but its getting closer.

Most of the stuff she makes, I could whip up with ingredients already in my kitchen...without being "premade".

I like the "from scratch" movement...

[tprjones.livejournal.com]

How did this woman get a show? This is a travesty.

It's like she's Sarah Lee's evil twin.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

You weren't the one who turned me on to the infamous Kwanzaa case? That list is fabulous, though.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Might have been. I've mentioned it before, although exactly where I've forgotten. :)

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

That woman is an insult to the entire institution of food. Though whenever I see one of her 'recipes' I feel like a gourmet cook by contrast!

[fourthage.livejournal.com]

. . . Wow. That's not cooking, that's embellishing. I thought I couldn't dislike a Food Network show worse than Rachel Ray's, but evidently I was wrong.