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Not ready for prime time, ~~so it's friendslocked~~. (Or not, as was pointed out to me. No big deal - just don't link to it yet because the URL will change after I'm done. I'll let ya know when it's ready for official release.)

Got out of work early since tomorrow's the Fourth of July, and naturally instead of doing anything useful, I'm messing with the random generators again. This particular one I'm working on started as a potential silly LJ entry - I'd accidentally run across somewhere online a forum thread where people were making up what their zanpakutos* would be. Naturally, most of these zanpakutos were highly Mary Sue-ified, if you can call it that (but you know what I mean), and were super-powerful and capable of taking out most captains with a single blow.

* Weapons Soul Reapers use in Bleach. Each is attuned to the wielder, each has a name, each has a couple of forms - shikai and bankai - and special abilities. Wikipedia.

This struck me as silly, and I started wondering what zanpakutos would be in the real world, but realized that if I posted an LJ entry asking you what *your* zanpakuto was, in the vein of asking you what your superpower was*, that meant I'd have to come up with one of my own, and I ahvne't been able to do it yet.

* My friend

bpggle is the Weird Attractor, calling all insane people from near and far to discuss their opinions with him. I merely have the ability to make anybody ask me if I've found God yet.

But it started me thinking about random generators, and how complex it would have to be, because the form and ability of the zanpakuto tend to be related to the name. I haven't figured out how to do that yet, but I've been working on a zanpakuto name generator, at least.

I've reached the point where they all look alike, because I'm intimately familiar with every term used in it. And they're ... OK. I've taken out most of the really silly ones (I plan on making a silly zanpakuto generator once I hammer out the problems of this one), but the rest are mostly blah and not spectacular yet.

~~http://www.magatsu.net/zanpakuto/names.php~~ Cleaned up the directory, now at: http://www.magatsu.net/zanpakuto/

Good, or at least Not Bad:
     Whisper of the West Wind
     Crimson Flower Cloud
     Unseen Wind of Hell
     Threefold Lotus Sword
     Waterfall of Agony
     Hell's Fang
     Ethereal Fire

Um (probably Squad Four):
     Eternal Cherry
     Spectral Spirit
     Secret Flower Bridge

Sailor Moon:
     Mystic Rainbow Justice
     Gossamer Light of Wisdom

Romance Novel:
     Savage Midnight Sacrifice

Ignore the bold words on the generator page - those are the patterns of the types of terms in the data, and I have them up there to make it easy to see which one is throwing up weird results.

What I know I need is more Meta-Actor words - they're the words like "Cutter" in Ichigo's "Moon Cutter", a noun made from a verb that modifies or acts upon a noun and comes after the noun. I've got "Cutter" in the generator, naturally, as well as the (boring synonyms of) Slicer and Splitter, and added Healer, Singer, and Dancer. But that ain't near enough.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Proposition? Porn?

This isnt' going to be the final generator - ideally, I'm going to randomly come up with shikai and bankai forms and abilities. We'll see if that happens. :D

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Mine is an embroidery needle that unfolds itself into a stiletto.

XD

One day I will work out what mine is, and post about it, and find out what everyone else's is, too. I suspect there are a lot of good ones, like that one, out there on my friendslist.

I want Savage Midnight Sacrifice now.

Alas, no suggestions from me, my brain seems to be dead right now.

:D

Come to think of it, I think I shall move "Sacrifice" to the meta-actor position, because I think it'll work there better than in the actor position. Hm.

Will I be mocked if I suggest "doom"?

Mauler? Mangler? (snort)

Whirlwind? Maelstorm?

Uh...

I think I have "of doom" in there somewhere, and if not, then I'll add it. XD

Maelstrom's in there, but I don't think Whirlwind is.

"Waterfall of Doom"!

Awesome!

I think the best one I can think of in my head is Savage Midnight Rainbow Typhoon Shredder of DOOM!

And now I'm starting to think of culinary zanpakuto: cyclone whisker of doom! rock pounding meat mallet of doom! heat-resistant flaming spatula of doom!

ok, clearly I am very bored at work and trying desperately to entertain myself.

I am totally going to add all those terms in when I do the silly one. XD

Eternal Cherry makes me laugh. A lot.

Hi, I'm twelve!

I laughed my ass off when it showed up.

Imagine the poor Fourth Squad member stuck with Eternal Cherry!

Sounds like an uncomfortable uke power....

And the subject of much badfic...

Maybe it's the power to make badfic flash before its victims' eyes?

"Not the eternally revirginizing ass of Fox Mulder in 'Life from the Ashes,' nooooooooooooooooo!"

I just got Bone of Judgment! Which would probably go REALLY WELL with Eternal Cherry! ::dies and dies::

They make those two go out on patrol together and laugh, and laugh, and laugh...

Then this results:

Heaven's Cherry Sacrifice

D:

BANKAI, BABY!

I just got "Cherry Splitter."

The guy who owns that sword also has a van, which has a painting of a topless mermaid who is for some reason on fire, and also a tiger, and the words "Sex Tiger" in uneven burning-looking cursive. There is probably a futon with a duvet with a picture of wolves in the back of the van. I haven't looked.

And he hangs out with the guy whose sword is "Unholy Stinger, Venomous Flute," and they both hate that chick with "Brush Defender."

(I'm, like, ten.)

I knew that "Cherry Splitter" would show up sometime and produce much amusement. XD

Not quite in the same vein, I recently got "Frozen Koi Splitter", which I guess would lead the guy to be called "Fishmonger."

The bankai power should be called "Fish Fingers" or possibly "Fish and Chips"

Um... This is not currently friends locked.

Oops. :D I'll go friendslock it. Or not - I mostly just don't want people linking to it yet, because the URL will change. It's not a huge deal. :)

"Truth of Agony" sounds about right, but "Flower Catfish of Darkness"? "Diamond Nightmare Gourd"? Trying to think of the abilities for those two would kill me. Noxious fishy smells in the dark power?

However, I utterly approve of "Viridian Tsunami, Dual Mistress." Who knew I shared names with a zanpakuto?

There's a canon zanpakuto that's "something-or-other Catfish", hence the presence of Catfish, because I started with the canon ones, but it tends to throw up WTF?! names instead of useful ones, so it may have to die. Same with "Gourd."

* Well catfish feel along the bottom of the lake with their tentacles, so I suppose it could always plunge the wielder and their opponent into darkenss and let the wielder use their spiritual energy to find their opponent. :)

I am SO NOT GOING where "tentacle" would otherwise lead.

Hentai powers, activate!

XD

Although "Drunken Killer Catfish" just showed up before I made the final decision to delete it, and that's kinda cool. XD

Could that get me Jackie Chan to show up to beat my enemies' asses? ("Drunken Catfish Master"?)

I think Jackie Chan would be your zangetsu's spirit, in that case. XD

Best. Spirit. Ever.

Yeah, he's not as sexy as some, but since I have no intentions of entering a committed relationship with my weapon that is fine by me.

I meant zanpakuto. I know what they are, really!

Or you could have been saying that Jackie Chan would be my Zangetsu, which would kind of make sense as well.

True, true. XD

Once click of the button just got me only "Gourd." It must have the killing power of brevity, something most Soul Reapers lack....

:D I ahve some set up to be one word - it tends to be more impressive when it throws up "Maelstrom" or "Tsunami" rather than "Feather" or "Peach Blossom" - but Wikipedia listed a few that were one-name-only. XD

If Feather is a zanpakuto that tickles people to death, I would consider it a dread, lethal instrument of torture. Or perhaps it just sets the stage with an explosion of feathers for a CLAMP-style scene of carnage?

At Anime North, there was a really cool and well-researched presentation-style "panel" about the mythological and cultural meanings behind the names of the various zanpakuto.

Unfortunately, I arrived late to it due to supper taking too long, and it was insanely crowded and poorly ventilated, so I soon felt like I was going to pass out or lose my supper and I had to stumble back out into the hallway to collapse in a corner before I learned much.

There was something interesting about mythological venomous bees, though. Do you have "venomous"? How about "stinger"?

The comment about an embroidery needle above made me think of the Journey to the West (in which Monkey shrinks his staff to the size of an embroidery needle and stores it in his ear when not using it) which made me wonder what the Saiyuki-folk's youkai weapons might be called if they were zanpakuto... that might lead to some fun ideas?

Ooh, venomous and stinger are both good, thanks! And I'll think on the Saiyuki angle and see if that sparks any ideas. :D

* Although it did produce "Venomous Phantom Sleeve". XDD

My first was "Sapphire Heaven" which makes sense, I suppose. I like Venomous Tiger too.

"Seven-form Man Splitter"

I envision an over-reactive radical feminist shinigami.

Because I am a complete nerd, I have in fact thought about what my zanpakuto would be if I were 3000% cooler and a shinigami.

'Rue-thorns'. A long chain of teardrop-shaped thorns that look as though they were plucked from some exotic desert plant, hollowed out, dried and polished. As the chain winds around things or through the air, they make a soft clicking susurrus like the dry scales of a snake rubbing together, or rosary beads being told.

'Rue' seems like it might work as a meta-actor word, at least? Are you using 'ing' forms as well? "Singing Fire", "Dreaming Agony", that sort of thing?

hm. words. Endless, Deep, Cracking, Luminous, Shining, Fragments. I should actually go look at that list before trying to provide suggestions, huh?

I know aboutely nothing about Bleach (other than what I read in that wiki link). I quite liked the sound of "Demon Koi from the Mountains" though. :D Or possible "Peach Blossoms of Oblivion". "Angelic Swallows Barrier" just gives me the image of heavenly swallows dive-bombing someone and bouncing off an invisible forcefield though.

"Golden Bamboo Spider" is actually pretty cool. Most of these are too badass for me, though (I think I'd be in the 4th, unfortunately...). "Fragrant Nightmare!" (hee hee hee...)

You, know the one with the weapon descriptions/types would be cool if it showed a picture of the basic weapon involved (tessen, kusari-fundo), because I thought I knew my silly weapons pretty well, but I don't recognize a lot of those ....

I thought about linking to the Wikipedia page for each of the weapons. Haven't done anything about it yet, but hey. :D

Heh, I was going to offer to do the dog-work of assembling the list of Wiki links for you, but I see you've done it already!

:D It ended up being mindless cut-and-paste I could do while I was pondering other problems.

It also shows how much inconsistency there is in links and organization within Wikipedia - weapons show up in "Japanese weapons" but not "Medieval weapons" and vice versa, or show up in "Knives" but not "Ancient Weapons" or are mentioned in passing in another entry but not linked to or they inexplicably put links to it in that entry, but didn't give it its own entry. (i.e. left-hand dagger, mentioned in Hachiwara (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hachiwara), with outside links (nonworking) there, but no "left-hand dagger" page exists.)

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