telophase | Bishounen of the Apocalypse

Eh. I think we've established that character design is not my forte. :) (Or at least, character design without a full script in hand to give me an idea of their personalities.)

I pretty much hate them all except Cute. Angsty's way out of proportion - he got redesigned at the last minute and I didn't take the time to redo the sketch like I should have. I'm still not happy with his hair or his clothing. All I know if that he's got to have something with enough of a neckline to show off the necklaces. :) And Snarky lost his expression when I inked it in - will work on that. Brooding isn't as dynamic as the others, and with Cute ... well, I can't do a big-eyed happy character without making them look slightly manic.

They also need to be very clean, very very simple because these are basically going into keychains and will be printed at 45 x 70 mm, which is SMALL. If anyone's got a copy of Salty Dog IV, page 60 is the basic idea I'm going for - flat, desaturated colors with no shading, and dynamic lines (which I have utterly failed to achieve with these).

Angsty

Snarky

Brooding

Cute

ETA: Maybe I really need YOU PEOPLE to write me snippets starring each of them so I can get a better feel for character. Have fun with it, and it doesn't matter if someone else has picked one and done it. (And don't think too hard about it.)

ETA2 Bonus points if you work in something from the kinkfic generator. My favorite one of each will get a free keychain starring that character! XD (hopefully that will get at least some of you interested in it...)

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He blinked at the boy. "Uh, is he really coming with us?" he said. "Are you sure about this, god-man?"

"God?" The boy blinked.

"We'll get to that later," the stranger told the boy. He turned back to him. "Yes, he is coming with us."

He thrust his hands into the depths of his trenchcoat and hunching his shoulders moodily. "What do you need him for? You asked _me_ first. Have you decided that I'm not good enough?" He stared down at the bead on its chain, lying over his heart. "I mean, I know I'm not good enough, but-"

"You really, really, really need some candy," the boy said to him. He looked up at the stranger. "Can we go get some get some candy? Or - hey! I know this really great place that does all-night-"

The stranger abruptly leaped onto a bar stool, balancing high above the crowd with his arms thrown out. "FOR THE LOVE OF HOT NAKED BUTTSEX!" he shouted, in a sudden, strange pause in the music. "I NEED A DECENT CONVERSATIONALIST, NOW!"

The crowd stared up at him.

"Bollocks," said the stranger, leaping down again in a flare of leather. "I was hoping the third one would be here too. Come on you two."

"Where are we going?" he asked dazedly, as he and the boy were swept up in the stranger's wake.

The stranger paused in the doorway, staring out into the night. "Which do you think has the best chance of having a decent internet connection: a monastry, a nunnery, a seraglio, a Turkish bath, a ship, or a hotel with only one room left?"

He and the boy stared at the stranger, then at each other.

"Er.." said the boy, "the hotel?"

"Then that," the stranger said, "is where we're going. I have an urgent need to consult the Mystery Science Theatre message board." He led the three of them down the-

Three of them?

He stared up at the third man. Six foot six of hulking, scarred, pony-tailed muscle in a black leather trench stared back.

"Wow," said the kid, weakly. "Now that's a _tall_ drink of water. Hi!"

The man transferred his flat, expressionless gaze to the kid, whose smile started to wilt like a sunflower in an atomic blast.

He grabbed the stranger's sleeve, forcing him to stop. "God-man, _who the hell is that?!_"

"Ah," the stranger said, peering through his sunglasses without surprise at the human wall following them. "That would be my silent, brooding ex-supersoldier."

"Where did he _come_ from?"

The stranger shrugged. "You shouldn't ask these things of supersoldiers. It generally takes around three plot-arcs to find out, and the answers are always nasty. He's coming with us, anyway. He was the first one of you I found."

"Wait." He blinked. "You found _me_ first."

The stranger shook his head.

"But I didn't even _see_ Mr Tall Dark and Brooding!"

"Yes," the stranger said patiently. "He's _good_."

He shrugged. "He's another one of you, so get used to him."

"Ok." He caught the stranger's coat-sleeve again as he turned away. "And just who are we anyway?"

"You?" The stranger turned again, a strange feral smile twisting his lips. "Don't you know? You're the Four-" He stopped.

"Four what?" prompted the kid.

"I'm not bringing horses into this," the stranger muttered, seemingly to himself. "No mangaka can draw them worth a damn, not to speak of the terrible jerky animation." He raised his voice. "Let's call you... the Four Bishounen."

"Wow," the kid breathed, eyes widening. "Can I be War?"

"I am going to be Death," he announced, hastily. A hand the size and weight of a bulldozer's shovel fell on his shoulder, driving him to his knees. "Er," he said, looking up at the expressionless eyes. "That is, I really want to be, er, Famine. _You_ should definately be Death."

"Bishounen," the stranger repeated evenly. "Not Horsemen. Angsty, Brooding, Cute, and Snarky."

"I'm not snarky!" the kid exclaimed indignantly.

They looked at him, from spiky bleached hair to glittery silver wheels.

"Oh," he said, in a small voice. He bit his lip. "So... he's," his finger pointed at the living wall, "Brooding, and he is _totally_ Angsty-"

"I'm not-" he started, then wilted as every eye fell on him. "Okay," he grumbled, hunching his shoulders. "But I have good reasons! I'd tell you, but it would be too much for my cursed, suffering soul."

"Riiight," said the kid. He turned to the stranger. "So you're Snarky?"

The stranger shook his silver head. "I will find Snarky," he said, "when the stars are right." He looked mildly peeved. "That should be around one in the morning, when the writer is on her fifth cup of coffee and is able to tackle his dialogue."

"So if you aren't Snarky," the kid asked, brow furrowing.

"Me?" The stranger smiled that white, feral smile again. "I am the one who has been prophesised. The one who was but a distant rumour that fanboys laughed at, not seeing the infiltration of their beloved dens until it was too late. I am the one who replaced A4 magazines with small, exorbitantly priced books that are even printed the right way round. It is I who stalk the sweaty conventions, so that masses of the unwashed draw back in fear and loathing from my lovingly-sewn cosplay robes. I am the one who brings pages and pages of slash fanfiction in response to their cautious Googling for their beloved characters." He dipped his head, so that his sunglasses slid down his nose, revealing impossibly large, vivid eyes. Tiny starbursts blazed within them. "I am the Anti-Comic, and before me all things shall be made anew."

He straightened again, shrugging, and pushed his glasses up his nose.

"Also," he said, "I am a total authorial-insert character. Never mind. Shall we go remake the world now?"

You win at everything. I especially like your failure to come up with actual snarky dialogue, necessitating a missing character as a plot point.

*bows* Alas, poor Snarky!

You may hate me, but I love you. XDDD

I HATE YOU BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP THINKING OF MORE.

(They go to a hotel room, where Cute and Angsty get up each others noses until Brooding sits on them both, while Anti-Comic surfs the web, where he finds Snarky hanging out on a message board, and persuades him to join up, but Snarky will only interact via IRC, so Angsty accuses him of not really being a bishounen, at which point Snarky refuses to communicate with Angsty except in lolcat macros - "CHEER UP EMO-KITTEN" - but is finally persuaded by to set up a webcamera, whereupon he is revealed to be a red-headed stud smoking a cigarette and flicking V-signs at Angsty through the web-camera, and Cute thinks he's totally hot so starts flirting with him via text, only Snarky doesn't realise Cute isn't a girl and gets blind-sided at the end of their steamy chat session - "SURPRISE! BUTTSECKS!" - and Brooding is even more broody because he secretly really fancies Cute, and Angsty and Snarky are sulking while Cute gets high on sugar from the minibar and Anti-Comic is all "OMG am I stuck with these guys?", and then Cute falls asleep on Brooding, leaving him stuck in an awkward position because he won't move and risk Cute waking up and moving, and Anti-Comic falls asleep and Angsty realises how vulnerable he looks when he's sleeping and wants to curl up behind him, but of course he is immediately crushed with feelings of guilt and unworthiness, and ends up on IRC with Snarky at two in the morning having one of those touching broken conversations where both parties are trying to be cool and hide their feelings but really they are all so broken and bleeding and then the next morning Anti-Comic gets them all together again to announce that they need to take a road trip and TELOPHASE I HATE YOU)

It's the Saiyuki ikkou, take 2! And Anti-Comic is Kanzeon!

Now all they need is a pimped out ride that turns into a unicorn.

You win! This was awesome. I started laughing out loud at "I warn you, disembodied heads in jars are frequently involved." and haven't stopped!

I confess, I was specifically thinking of you when I wrote that line. :-D

I am proud to have inspired more narratives with heads in jars ^____^.

Bishounen of the Apocalypse

Part 3

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