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Comments?
I've got a couple of paragraphs of here and want to know if this is a decent description of a (fictional) place. Mind reading them, commenting on what it brings to your mind, and then taking a look at a couple minutes of a video and letting me know if what you got was ANYTHING like it? If not, what made you confused or was missing that would have made it better?
The text below is basically pseudocode for writing--it's not even at first draft stage yet, but I've been wrestling in my head with how to describe this city for ages.
No comment on grammar, tense, or or whatnot plz, and the eventual passages these will get expanded into will contain a bit more description (like that the walls are stone).
Time period: sort of Renaissance-ish.
This video starts at 37:26. Paragraph 2 occurs at something similar to what you see at 39:32.
(hopefully spoiler-disguised so you don't read it before doing the above...)
YES THIS IS MAGICAL RENAISSANCE FANTASY AMALFI COAST ONLY IN A SECONDARY WORLD
The text below is basically pseudocode for writing--it's not even at first draft stage yet, but I've been wrestling in my head with how to describe this city for ages.
No comment on grammar, tense, or or whatnot plz, and the eventual passages these will get expanded into will contain a bit more description (like that the walls are stone).
Time period: sort of Renaissance-ish.
Heads down the wide stairs from the university quarter towards the merchant quarter, then takes a series of twisty stair passages between buildings, some so narrow he had to turn sideways when he met someone coming the other way. Once you left the upper city, if you weren’t on the central stairs near the cataracts, the mid-city area was not interested in devoting space that could be used for living in, selling things, or working to moving around. Aristos of the upper city loved them some broad, decorated stairways you could almost march a company down, but the mid-city people roofed over stairways into arcades to build housing and workshops on top of them, and sometimes even blocked them off, forcing passers-by into complicated detours to avoid dead ends. Doorways opened directly off of stairs, sometimes directly into houses and shops, occasionally into tiny courtyards.
He paused at a shrine built into the wall of a tiny landing where the flight he was on stopped and continued down to the left, and made a gesture of hopeful thanks for getting the job. Couldn’t afford to leave a coin at the moment, but [deity name] understood that sort of thing.
This video starts at 37:26. Paragraph 2 occurs at something similar to what you see at 39:32.
(hopefully spoiler-disguised so you don't read it before doing the above...)
YES THIS IS MAGICAL RENAISSANCE FANTASY AMALFI COAST ONLY IN A SECONDARY WORLD