Good lord...

[telophase]

I have actually done my first banning of a non-troll journal. (The comments in question are all frozen, since the person cannot answer back - it wouldn't be fair.)

Honestly, people, if someone misunderstands you it is your responsibility to APOLOGIZE, not to get up in arms because you weren't aware of the implication of your words. Own your fucking words! Or go complain in your own LJ!

P.S. It was the attempt to dictate to Rachel who could and could not answer her question that really torqued me off and spurred the ban. This is my LJ, and I am the dictator here! Argue all you want with each other, but be aware that I think ANYONE has the right to respond, and may.

Comments

[magicnoire.livejournal.com]

...did that person honestly believe that asking the question, "Are you promoting gay rights just because you're a slasher?" wasn't at least slightly offensive? At least?

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Apparently so. Because the implication that I base my political and social opinions on fandom is TOTALLY OKAY!

[ruffwriter.livejournal.com]

What the fuck? People that assume that straight women support gay rights just because they may be into slash are so infuriating. It's like... if they're looking for some deep personal reason why I do it, I could tell them about my uncle and his partner of twenty years and how, if they ever choose to get married, I'd like them to be able to do that. But even if I didn't have that uncle, that wouldn't change how I felt about gay rights. You don't need to be personally connected to something to feel strongly about it.

Also, it always amazes me how many people think that, just because it's the internet, they can ignore social niceties completely. Anyone with half a brain could see that her comment came off as narrowminded and rude.

Oh, and their fangirl Japanese was borked. Not like that makes any difference, but still. XD

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Yup. :D Fandom has nothing to do with me being able to look around and see that it's a problem when two people who love each other cannot legalize their relationship. While I would prefer that the government not have anything to do with marriage at all, I can see people not getting health benefits, not being able to make life-affecting decisions for a partner who is unable to due to illness or injury, and losing assets and businesses they've worked on for years because the law says the inheritor can only be someone related by blood or marriage*, and I can get ANGRY about it.


* Or worse, dismissing a will declaring someone an inheritor in favor of blood relatives. ARGH

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

Seriously. The boy I was friends with who had sexuality-based PANIC ATTACKS before he came out makes a lot more difference to my working on this auction than whether or not I think Jack looks hot kissing Ianto. (Which, hey, he does, but that's not the point.)

And hey, borked fangirl Japanese sucks too. ;-)

[tygerr.livejournal.com]

Oh, and their fangirl Japanese was borked.

What, wakarimasite? That's ... um ... a mineral. Yeah, that's it, a mineral that promotes understanding. At least, as long as it's in its amorphous state. In its crystalline state, it impedes understanding.

The poster in question clearly had crystallized wakarimasite. :-D
-------
EDIT: I went back and reread. I misremembered the borked Japanese. Sorry.

WakarimaSHITE would be ... something else, which also impedes understanding but stinks while it does so. Regardless, I still think we're looking at its crystallized state.

[moondancerdrake.livejournal.com]

Sure. poeple make mistakes and say stupid things with out meaning to, I've done it on occation, but then they got to be willing to bite the bullet and take responibility for the effects of what they said. Bottom line. I guess this person was not willing to do that.

[txtriffidranch.livejournal.com]

I've had to do this a couple of times. In every case, it's not because the person was being more than the usual Cat Piss Man level of clueless: it's that the dumb slob was too busy insisting upon getting in the last word.

[octopedingenue]

On a more serious note, I, for one, totally support gay marriage so that Gojyo and Hakkai can get hitched and have dozens of three-quarter-youkai MPREG babies. Providing basic civil rights, legal protections, and acknowledgment as fellow humans to my neighbor citizens? Pleasant bonus!

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Heeee mommaferret! Every time I look at the ferretcam, she's trying her darndest to get some SLEEP and the baby's not letting her. XD

[octopedingenue]

YIS. I may be a little obsessed. Baby was trying to nurse her ear a minute ago. Wrong end, sweetheart!

[cofax7]

I know! Poor MommaFerret! I love her so, and long furry wiggly baby.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

They're both snoozing right now.

[cicer.livejournal.com]

I, for one, totally support gay marriage so that Gojyo and Hakkai can get hitched and have dozens of three-quarter-youkai MPREG babies.

Best. Reason. Ever. *ded* Your comment made me lol.

Also, I am now addicted to ferretcam. Because I don't like to be alone in my addictions, I showed it to my mother and we spent a good forty minutes watching it last night. Several times today we've commented to each other, 'I wonder what the baby ferret is doing now...?' Obsessed, yis. XD

[chomiji]

It was definitely offensive that she imagined the only reason someone who wasn't gay could be promoting this cause was because that person liked slash. Just as one counter-example: where does that put the straight-arrow church-going het family across the street (mom, dad, two little kids), who have a sign on their lawn promoting marriage equality?

(Edited because I clearly left my subtler instincts back in Copenhagen.)

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

Obvs they are all closet slashers, duh.

[chomiji]

Imagining asking them about that has me simultaneously grinning and blushing furiously ... such sweet, earnest mainstream types they are!

[smillaraaq.livejournal.com]

Maybe they write really sweet-and-schmoopy Bible slash? I bet they're total David/Jonathan shippers! :)

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Good grief. One day, someone with have to explain to me the whole thing where what kind of fictional pairings you prefer dictates your sexuality(and acceptance of that of others) and whether or not you support actual homosexual relationships. (Really, it doesn't even have anything to do with your opinion on homosexuality itself, but rather whether or not people have the right to choose who to spend their life with, and who has the right to be with them when ill/dying, and who can manage their affairs, etc. and have their choice legally acknowledged.)

Hmm...isn't that the person who got into it with Rachel back during the Open Source thing? Or was it someone else they got into it with?

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Wow, that was weird.

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

"I WORKED THE PRIDE PARADE! I LIKE HOMOS! IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO BE A DICK ABOUT THEM!"

Don't let the door hit ya
Where the good lord split ya.

[akaihyo.livejournal.com]

Weirdness abounds. Human rights are just . . . right. There must be some way to say that that does not sound totally lame.

[cicer.livejournal.com]

...But how could you not see the offensive implications of that comment? 'Are you gay, or do you just like to watch the boykissing?' Gosh, hon, maybe for some of us it has to do with believing that everyone should have certain rights, like the right to marry the person they love. Geez. You had it exactly right when you said that implying that a person supported gay marriage solely because they liked slash was insulting to their intelligence. Sheesh!

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

And it's one thing to say something stupid. I do it all the time! It's the refusing to own a) that you said something stupid or b) that when you insult people, it's best to make nice that's infuriating.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

Shit, what a douchebag.

[droiche.livejournal.com]

If I had a dollar for every time someone misunderstood or took offense at something I said, I'd have my dream house by now. Yeesh! I apologize if I really do hurt someone's feelings or clarify something I said that wasn't very clear, but I still stand firm on my beliefs, likes, dislikes, whatever. Ya know, there's three things I avoid discussing with people I don't know very well (and many that I know too well) outside of my journal and sometimes even my journal is screened because I loathe being forced to defend myself: sex, politics, and religion. ^_~


Re. gay rights and marriage: I'm 100% hetero, but I support gay marriage. My personal preferences have nothing to do with someone else's right to keep theirs. I agree government should not be allowed to dictate who people can or can not marry as long as the people in question are adults and willing participants in the union.

[cerusee.livejournal.com]

What is it about you that makes people assume that you're a hardcore slasher? You've mentioned things like this before.

I casually enjoy slash myself, but I'm interested and annoyed by this tendency in fandom by people to conflate female heterosexual appreciation for hot guys with being a slasher. Is that the only way people in fandom know how to interpret a woman demonstrating sexual interest in men? If anybody made that assumption out of the rarified sphere of fandom, people would think they were fucking nuts.

I can understand what experiences would make a person familiar with fandom wonder about the motivations--I still remember trying to wrap my head around proud writers of yaoi in the GW fandom who saw no hypocrisy in believing real-life homosexuality to be wrong and a sin; I also remember writers (who I can only hope were very young) who congratulated themselves on their part in the fight for the civil rights of gays by way of writing yaoi. The nicest thing you can say about that is that it's well-meant.

But the comm is an actual concrete attempt to offer support on a real and immediate issue; it's not simply fandom patting itself on the back for being enlightened and tolerant. It's not being promoted as a slash-and-yaoi thing; it's not being promoted exclusively to self-identified slashers; in no way is it coded as slashers-support-gay-marriage (and there's no reason why they can't or shouldn't, as people have pointed out; it's insulting to assume someone's politics are predicated on their hobbies unless you have actually been given a reason to believe that).

There's no way that question wasn't meant to insult; but what really makes my eyes roll is the backwards logic of it--there are slashers who paint slash as gay rights activism; you're in fandom, supporting gay rights activism, therefore, you are a slasher posing as a gay rights activist. Despite the ongoing lack of slash-themed fic, art, recs, and general interest for slash and yaoi demonstrated in your journal, the fact that you are a woman in fandom offering support for a minority group you are not part of has revealed your true motivation!

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Gaaaah! I know! And it drives me nuts that people assume I'm a capital-S Slasher because in order to deny it, I end up sounding like I'm all "Eeeew! Those icky slashers!" when the reality is that I'm all about the good writing and art, not the combination of genders.

It's just like being introduced as a science fiction fan to a non-SF-reading person, because ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS the first thing they say is "Oh? Like Trekkies?" NO! DAMMIT! I HATE TREK! And you know they've got the media focus on the crazier aspect of Trek fandom in their heads, too, so now you're pegged as one of the people who wears their Starfleet uniform to jury trials. Drives me nuts.

So when someone assumes I'm a slasher or a yaoi fan or introduces me as one, I know that in their head somewhere there's an image of the rabid slasher who thinks het is icky, or the girl lugging a yaoi paddle around a con when it can't be farther from the truth.

[new-kate.livejournal.com]

Well, that person said they were "queer-undentified" or something to this effect. I actually remember this thing on fandom_wank where someone took exception to bandom fanservice. Apparently, straight boys are not allowed to make out with each other on stage or make joking innuendoes at each other in interviews, or even look androgynous. Because that objectifies gay people for the tiltilation of fanbase, and also it's cultural appropriation, and also they have no right, for they have not suffered like gay men have suffered.
I also remember some critic panning "Boys don't cry", because Hillary Swank is not a real-life trans, which makes her portrayal of one insulting, hypocritical and full of lies, I guess?
I suppose next time we campaing against racism we should be ready to field questions like "so are you black, or are you only doing in because you like porn with black men in it?"
And what the hell is "gay rights aspect of being a slasher", I don't understand this whole sequence of words and how they fit together. I sense that it was probably supposed to mean "you lot are deluded enough to extend your obsession with mpreg curtain-fics onto a real life cause that is of vital importance to me and a game to you, which insults me so I don't need your help", but the words, they just don't work out.