telophase | (no subject)

OMG. That is the most hilarious wank ever. I don't know what's funniest, this:

Sugar is an unneeded addition that subverts the natural rise of the dough. As you said, the egg wash is used to produce a fake finish on the loaf.

Try looking up reputable sources on definitions of bread instead of google.

Or A bread with nuts in it definitely ceases to be just bread. It is now bread with nuts or fruit in it, a new and distinct item from just bread.

Or the daughter of a rabbi explaining that Challah is, indeed, bread -- and can't be eaten when bread is forbidden because egg bread is still bread.

Or Bread laws? Please point us to these "bread laws".

I'd love to be in bread court someday. "Your honor, I've been battered!"

Bread snobs can produce some of the wackiest wank evar. I lurked on rec.food.cooking back in the day, and I still remember, almost ... good god! ... 14 years later, how one person posted incredibly bent out of shape over a guest who had the SHEER INSULTING TEMERITY to ask for butter to put on the sooper-speshul homemade bread they were served, which was PERFECT without the addition of foreign substances.

The horror!

I just took a look at rec.food.cooking. Dear Lord, the spam there is awful! No wonder the most active conversation there is on how to run a killfile. The situation is enough to make me give up on looking for wank and kookery there. Too bad, as thinking of the group as "rec.food.kookery" would have been appealing.

The spam on rec.arts.sf.composition just recently drove me off Google Groups and back to Xnews, where I could use a scoring file to search-and-destroy spam. It was completely unreadable without one.

I don't want to get involved in the wank, but if the OP actually produced a loaf of edible bread in under a hour, I'll be hornswoggled. I'm totally putting this recipe to the test next week.

I'm impressed at the lack of kneading - because of my wrist RSI, I can't do much of that, but this looks possible for me.

And my mom is handing down her Kitchenaid mixer to me when I move, and it's got a dough hook, so no stirring by hand at all, even better!

I'd still knead it with the stand mixer, because I abhor the sensation of sticky doughy unlickable hands.

You've seen the no-knead bread (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/08/dining/081mrex.html), right? Works! So tasty! Tastiest bread! Good god I can't believe that wank!

Yeah, I've seen that. I just haven't gotten around to trying it. XD

I couldn't believe there would be wank about bread. I mean...BREAD. So I clicked and laughed myself sick. Imitation bread!!!! *dies*

Bread snobs are quite opinionated. XD

You know there's an anime about making bread? I'd say it is in the sports genre. You know, how there are competitions, and people keep talking about getting better and more powerful, and reaching for some spiritual goal, like finding the move of God in Hikaru no Go?

Oh, god, that show. XDDDDD It was actually kind of charming, in a very cracked-out way.

It ranks up their with the frosting wank.

Oh my! that wank has exploded since I saw it earlier!

Wow, that's fantastic.

What a jackass that guy is. That said, I would never (a) microwave bread dough; or (b) call that bread a baguette. True baguettes have only flour, water, salt, and yeast, and require three risings. They're a pain. You could call it a baguette-type bread, though.

Still, if it tastes good, yay for the baker.

That is awesome wank.

Not that I'm too surprised. Cooking wank can match anything fandom can come up with, for sure...

I had no idea what I was in for when I clicked for "bread wank." You are so kind to share that patch of bitchberries.

(Bitchberries are a sour, sour imaginary fruit that tastes like bitching, and are in no way meant to imply that the people there are themselves bitches. Although one of them is definitely... self-righteously cranky in great detail. And therefore funny.)

Why hallooo thar, interweb! I didn't know bread was wankable material! Oh, excuse me. A loaf of imitation bread. Internet = serous business!

It is most enlightening, I must say. I was not even aware of bread laws!

*still laughing* That was some serious wank. You have just brightened my entire day.

That reminds me. Thank you again for the JF account. I'm having lots of fun in the communities there, including otf_wank. Speaking of which, I have a community rec for you--operation_mock, which covers Anonymous vs. Scientology. Xenu loves you!

:D Thanks!