Snarky's single mother dies in an avalanche when he's only eighteen months old. His only surviving relative is his maternal grandfather, a chain-smoking, cheerfully perverse man who swings his cane like a samurai sword at anyone threatening. Snarky (whose real name may be Adam) lives with Grandpa until his fifteenth birthday, when he comes home to find the old guy face-down in the cat food and cold as a brick.

Justifiably terrified at the foster care placement of a snarky, chain-smoking fifteen-year-old with an attitude problem the size of a small continent, Snarky threw his stuff in a backpack and took to the streets. His original plan-- selling his ass for small change-- fell through when he realized that his attitude wasn't made for customer service. He fell into a whorehouse, where he's now the snarky, chain-smoking seventeen-year-old bouncer. They love him there.