Humph

[telophase]

Does anyone have a recipe for kale that makes it not taste like kale? We forgot to log in to the CSA website and edit this week’s box before the deadline, so unless they run out before getting to our box (it has been known to happen), we’re getting kale.

And none of this “emphasize the flavor by cooking simply or roasting” stuff. The reason neither of us likes kale, broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts or any other cruciferous vegetable is that it’s unbearably bitter: it’s a genetic thing, I think.

(I think there may also be a genetic thing that goes along with melons as well: myrialux finds all melons terrible. Which means I get the ginormous cantaloupes that the CSA is occasionally sending us now.)

Comments

[vom_marlowe]

I can't promise it won't taste like kale per se, but I do know a way to reduce some of the bitterness. It's based off a massaged kale salad (I know, I know...). There's plenty of recipes out there, but I'd just do a small test run to see if it works for you. Basically, you remove the stems (pitch them), then cut the kale into very thin ribbons, drizzle with a little olive oil, lemon juice, and a generous pinch of salt, and then, well, massage with your hands it for a while--several minutes at least. It breaks down somehow, because of the salt/lemon, the texture completely changes, and a lot of the bitterness goes into this kind of juice that comes out a bit--you can rinse that off or drain it or what have you. Most people just eat it as salad at that point, but I do that as a sort of de-bittering pre-treatment.

It's how I served it to my sister-in-law, who can't handle bitterness in her veg at all, has trouble digesting it but was desperate to try kale for health reasons. She liked it a lot.

[yhlee]

Not a recipe per se, but I made rice noodles with tofu and collard greens (also bitter) chopped thin and with stems removed, and basically drowned the lot in hoisin sauce. Joe and Ara HATE collards but ate the result without complaint, because all they could taste was the hoisin sauce. Something like that might work for kale as well? (I'm about to find out because Joe brought home baby kale...I'll report back.)

ETA: Oh, forgot to mention - the tofu and collards got stir-fried in the hoisin sauce. (Or anyway, I find plain tofu super boring so sauces are how I deal with the stuff.)

[adafrog]

I don't know any recipes, but when I was in a class where we had to bring dinner occasionally one of my classmates would put kale in a stew, and the stew was delicious. (I hate kale). It was a broth based, with veggies, and maybe some meat. She cooked by the seat of her pants.

[genarti]

Does dairy work to mitigate the bitterness for you? I do like kale, so I'm not the best judge of this -- cruciferous veggies taste bitter to me, but a mild and sometimes pleasant level of bitterness, not unbearably so -- but I have really enjoyed kale sliced very fine and used with garlic and cheese (and egg and milk and bread, and IIRC swiss chard) in savory bread pudding.

[ellenmillion]

My favorite use for kale is in quiche as a replacement for spinach. You don't really taste it with a good, strong cheese.

[ellenmillion]

I usually riff off of this recipe: https://www.marthastewart.com/336904/spinach-and-gruyere-quiches

[alexseanchai]

saute the kale in olive oil with onion and garlic? it might not work well, but it has consistently made kale taste tolerable to me. reduces the volume of kale by quite a bit, too.

[thomasyan]

I was going to suggest ditching the stems, chopping up the rest, salting, rubbing, squeezing our water, and mixing into ground meat for dumplings or meatballs, in the hopes that would help. Sounds similar to massaging ribbons with salt and lemon juice.

(My wife once made a salad with raw bittermelon. I think we used a peeler to get thin strips. I forget if we salted and squeezed. Definitely added a bunch of lemon juice and either sugar or honey. I found it edible, but wondered how much of the nutrients were lost.)

You might be able to overpower the flavor with seasoning when making kale chips: Google for a recipe, but basically dress with oil, season, bake until crispy.

[green_knight]

I'm a supertaster, and I thought I had it bad, but I like broccoli, cauliflower, and baby sprouts (adult Brussel sprouts are often too bitter). Melons (other than watermelons) are bitter. Overall it seems I got away lightly... (I also need thin asparagus stems; standard sized are bitter as fuck).

Since kale (fried, only way I had it) comes in under my bitterness radar, I can't help much, but it sounds as if cutting off the stems would help.

[telophase]

Thanks!

[telophase]

Thanks!

[telophase]

Heh. XD Yeah, plain tofu's boring. We've found frying it til the outside is crispy and then using it in whatever sauce-heavy recipe we're cooking is fantabulous, though.

[telophase]

Hm. I'm not sure it does--cheese sauce on broccoli, broccoli-cheese soup and things like that don't seem to do the trick for me.

[telophase]

Thanks!

[telophase]

Thanks!

[telophase]

It's weird the way this goes. I can't stand beer or coffee, but I love asparagus. Grapefruit is another thing that supertasters are supposed to hate, but I love it...although I realized some time back that I grew up eating it sprinkled with sugar. myrialux doesn't like plain grapefruit, but we've found a method where you put brown sugar on top and hit it with a blowtorch or pass it under a broiler, sort of like creme brulee, which is delicious.

[thomasyan]

Hmm. Is raw kale less bitter than cooked? I've had a version of Caesar salad that used kale instead of lettuce and was tasty to me.

Also, possibly broken record: have you tried freezing firm tofu before cooking it? If The texture from the resulting holes does not bother you, enjoy the way the holes are great for holding soup or sauce! I actually like the texture: more fun than just lumps of smooth tofu.

[indywind]

I taught myself to like kale and collards, which I previously had only met in southern-style overcooked or hippie kale-forward preparations, basically this way, with the addition of sugar and vinegar to further mitigate the bitter.

Big skillet, good glug of oil, minced fresh or jarred garlic about 1 tbs per pound (or 4-6 packed cups, optionally massaged first) of stemmed and chopped greens, and/or onion 2x as much as garlic, 1/2 tsp salt, 1-2 tsp sugar, 1/4 cup vinegar you like the taste of (I use apple cider vinegar, which is pretty strong-- if you're not a vinegar fan, a milder one like wine vinegar might suit better. or lemon juice. or a mixture of acidic liquid with water to make it milder for the same volume of liquid). Sesame oil for part of the oil and soy sauce in the liquid is a nice variation.

Caramelize the garlic in the oil on medium heat. Mix the sugar, salt, and liquid together, deglaze the pan with it and cook down til it's more sauce-y than liquid. Throw in the chopped greens, stir to distribute the sauce through the greens (and keep it from burning to the bottom of the pan), just until the greens are bright, wilted, and reduced in volume by about half.
If you want the greens more cooked than that, brown the garlic, then cook the greens, then transfer the cooked greens to a holding bowl, deglaze the pan/make the sauce, throw the greens back in and stir just to coat.