telophase | (no subject)

(no subject)

OK, *this* has never happened to me before -- a total stranger just came to my door and hit on me.

He knocked first, and I opened the door to this fairly nice-looking black gentleman wearing your standard sort of college gear of long shorts and a baggy shirt and the proud possessor of two gold teeth[*], and he said "Oops, sorry, wrong apartment." and so I smiled and nodded, and shut the door. And then he knocks *again* and says he'd just like to introduce himself, that he's new here, and starts making small talk, asking what there's to do around here and so on and if I like to go out, and I make excuses saying I'm under a lot of deadlines, which I am, and manage to get back into the aparmtent without any more conversation or the cat getting out.

Then I step out to check my mail and run to the convenience store to get caffeine, and when I get back there's a note on my door from him with his phone number inviting me to dinner.

Ya gotta give him points for persistence, at least.

I'm not tempted - I make it a policy not to go out with people who knock on my door and invite me to dinner out of nowhere. Especially since he, like, knows where I live. The creepy factor is just a leeetle too high for me. If he comes back, I'm inventing a boyfriend.

[*] Which is just not my favorite item of bodily adornment; I'm sorry.

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>I'm inventing a boyfriend.

Who works for Interpol and is stationed in Japan (the overseas thing might not actually help, though)?

And is an expert in Tae Kwon Do.

I invent boyfriends all the time. I seem to attract creeps...

But, I can honestly say, none have ever randomly knocked on my door and then left a note asking me to dinner.

Tell him you have a short blonde boyfriend who likes guns and smoking and smoking guns. He's not very talkative, but has the most beautiful viole(n)t eyes.

Now, I like that boyfriend. :)

Yah. I rarely get asked out, but certainly never by total strangers who knock on my door to do it.

I hear he's a preacher man ;)

That goes over well in Texas.

Wow, all the fun stuff happens to you! Or not.

Knocking on doors to try and meet new people -- it sounds like something that belongs in a sitcom. You'll have to keep us updated on whether or not you get a chance to tell about your fictional boyfriend. Mine is in my icon.

You bet it would, sista!

You know, my extended family is Catholic, and my uncle has this great story of meeting his priest in the liquor store where he was buying a bottle of Jack and a pack of smokes and then put his leather jacket back on, got onto his Harley, and drove away. XD

I will! And now, choices, choices...do I go for the Japanese detective, the blonde preacher man, or the short, dark guy with the attitude problem?

That is a prime example of Kicking Ass for the Lord :3

tell him...you have a *girlfriend* T_T

Who works in a taekwando dojo, etc.

Aw, how cute... except not. XP

himekokurai and I had a surefire way to fix it when we were out together, before she got married and I got a bf: we'd giggle at each other, hold hands, and say "Oh, I'm not interested in boys... I've got all I need right here." And smile at the other. Worked like a charm. XDDDDD

Of course, now our SOs shoot dirty looks at anyone who tries anything. Which is very nice. XD

Well, when you do *that* there's always the potential of hims saying "Ooh! Can I watch?" :)

XD. I figure there's always the problem of someone replying "Ooh! Can I watch?!" 'Course I got pervy friends. :)

O_O T_T x_x

..................

Perhaps it's better to consult kurobahikaru below in this matter..she seems to know how to deal with that kind of quiestions............

x_x

Maybe he's just a really sleazy door to door salesman, trying to get your gaurd down... and then sell you a Vacuum!

HAH! I have FOILED his PLAN!

I already own a vacuum! HAH!!

I'm horribly reminded of the time my own mother bought me a Boyfriend in a Box in seventh grade.

I'll let that sink in while I'm off weeping in the corner.

But I think you should answer the door with a heavy object from now on ^_^

Note to self: telophase is single, another possible reason to go to A-kon? Must consider this. ;)

o_0

Glad I only asked the once. It'd have been embarrassing to ask after the invented boyfriend's health ;)

That's the best suggestion yet.

ROFLMAO....I dialed a wrong number once (and it was the hubby's fault for giving me the wrong number) and the guy on the other end started hitting on me.... I was almost surprised after I hung up that he didn't *69....yeah, you're guy wins the persistant points. :D

You didn't tell him your real name, did you? You used a fake name or initial I hope :)

Saying you're a lesbian only makes them more persistent, since they are then convinced that they are The Answer To Your Deviation And Your Ticket To A Normal Life.

Even if they're carrying all their worldly possessions in a grocery bag.

My fictional husband, reserved only for truly aggravating and/or frightening circumstances, is identical to my wife in every way except for the fact that he is an ex-Navy SEAL... and gets a little, y'know, touchy.

I always hate using that, though, because it feels icky. Still, it got me away from a really nasty perv in Fort Lauderdale once.

It's like the Triumph of Optimism over Despair, isn't it? I'm seeing a classic 18th- or 19th-century allegorical painting with lots of rolling clouds and people draped in windblown Greek clothing: two women, arms entwined, striking those overdramatic poses, with a man on his knees before them imploring.

Boyfriend in a Box...? Good lord.

In general, I don't answer the door unless I've ordered delivery or someone's hollering "Maintenance!" because ti's usually someone trying to sell me soemthing, whether it's candles, magazine subscriptions, or God.

The curse of being short is that in this particular apartment, the peephole is too high for me to be able to lookout of it and see anything. You know, maybe that's something the maintenance guys can fix - the maintenance guys are great; it's the office people that suck at getting the work orders to them. If I grab one of the guys themselves, they'll fix stuff right off.

:D And remember: I consider the lack of gold teeth a plus!

Dude, I'd introduce you to the invisible boyfriend. And watch you decide whether it was *you* or *me* who was insane. ;)

I guess it's the scattershot approach: hit on every female you have contact with, and eventually one of them will say yes. :D

Well, he knows my *first* name, but nothing else at least. And I have, theoretically, his phone number and first name, provided he wasn't lying about one or the other.

i've had similar experience. a salesman comes to my door, i repond by not being interested in magazines(and if he sells enough, he gets 2 free tickets to australia and that i should join him. i respond my otherhalf wouldn't appreciate that but i can ask.), he respons by asking maybe my boyfriend/husband is interested in magazines. i repond, he really might since he is over seas. but he's coming home soon and i'm really looking forward to it. ^__^
i can't stand guys that hit on you after tatlking to you for three seconds.
happened to me on a grocery store at the check out counter. he commented on a amgazine i was reading, turns out he knows spanish, then he tells me i have a nice @$$ and asks for my numbeer. (he's like 20 years older than i am. nasty.)
goodness. i have too many storied.
OLD MEN - LEAVE ME ALONE! DATE PEOPLE FROM YOUR OWN GENERATION, PLEASE!
" hit on every female you have contact with, and eventually one of them will say yes"
this is in fact a real theory. and men wonder why they are called dogs.

Yup. Be;ive it or not, I actually like to have conversations with men without being worried that it's all a fake show of interest on their part. And I like actually knowing someone first, or being recommended by a friend, because that way there's at least the possibility that you're not CRAZY INSANE-O GUY.

A small footstool by the front door might be a good investment.

Closest I came to that was shortly after I moved to Omaha. I'd seen the nice young lady in the next apartment in passing. When I won a couple of tickets to a play I knocked on her door and asked if she wanted to join me. I must've been gentlemanly enough--she had a boyfriend but found a friend to go with me.

The truly terrifying thing is that it works for some guys.

I've got a small footstool, but it tends to make noise when I'm moving it over there and many of the people selling stuff, if they hear *anything*, won't leave, will just bang on the door until you open it. But if I can't get the peephole re-drilled, that's probably the next best option.

Probably the lack of gold teeth. Or she'd seen you a lot in passing - I've already forgotten the name of my next-door neighbor, but I've seen him and talked to him a bit when his motorcycle was stolen, and if he ever asked me to dinner, once I consider the fact that I think he's at least a decade younger then me, I wouldn't be creeped out. (He won't, though: he's got a girlfriend.)

I have to say that if anyone shows up in a tie, I'm likely to trust them more. Anyone standing at a streetlight with a bucket and a tie, I'll toss a dollar or some change in without even paying attention to what they're collecting for. They could have painted "DONATIONS FOR BEER AND CRACK" on the bucket, but if they're wearing a tie, I'll donate.

I think we can pretty much guarantee that at least the phone number is real.

I've seen variations on the "hit on everyone you come in contact with" scheme actually *recommended*, complete with hints and tips for increasing one's success percentage, in books with titles like "How To Get Women".

Creepy.

"How to Get Women (Provided You Have No Standards)"?

...
...
the horror

I don't think that's *exactly* it. I think the idea is sort of like the strategy of sending out resumes to 1000 prospective employers, to get 100 interviews, to get 10 job offers, knowing full well that you don't actually *want* to work for more than a handful of the original 1000 companies. But it gets you visibility, it keeps you in practice, the occasional acceptance of a substandard offer can help you survive in event of a long dry spell (yes, that's a bit icky), and in the end it builds skills that improve your chances of nailing the ~~hot busty blonde~~ job of your dreams.

Which apparently is NOT the same as "no standards". Somehow. *eyeroll*

I'm male (and an incorrigible flirt) and I have issues with it even as a hypothetical idea. I can only imagine what it must be like to be female and have to deal with it as a reality. Bleah.

i don't mind the incorrigible flirts. lots of my friends are like that. as long as they are being playful. but what we are talking about is just plain weirdness. its just gross, and you can see right through it.
anyway, you are awesome!

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