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Trazodone dreams again...
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rachelmanija has a poll about dreams in her LJ. This started as a comment there, but got long enough that I figured it'd be best to move to my LJ.I've mentioned before about my dreams being especially vivid on the Trazodone. They're not really more coherent, though. :D Last night I dreamed about Renji, which makes sense since I've been drawing the doujinshi, but instead of anything fun like having a torrid affair or fighting side-by-side or anything, he was busy wangsting over Rukia and completely ignoring me. XD
The only nightmare I've had so far on Trazodone was a doozy, but I think "nightmare" may not be the right term. I seem to associate nightmares with fear, and just call other unwanted dreams bad dreams. And this was a doozy of a bad dream, enough so that I'm putting it under spoiler code and warning people who might feel triggered by horrific torture-type stuff not to read it.
I remember once, long ago, I saw a photo, probably in a "lookit those wacky Japanese" book or article, that had a naked woman lying on a table with sushi on her, and people gathered around her eating it. This bubbled up out of my subconscious, and I *was* that woman. Only instead of lying flat on my back, I was ... er, hard to describe. My legs were folded like I was sitting seiza, only I was lying back, with my arms tied behind me. Somehow, through dream logic, this produced a reasonably flat surface on my body for sushi to be served. I was on a cart, being pushed around by someone, and at one point I mentioned that he might want to go ahead and serve me, since this wasn't the most comfortable of positions. So I get wheeled into a dining room and am surrounded by mean eating sushi. This is the point where it went from disturbingly bizarre to downright nightmarish. Luckily, at this point the woman on the cart was no longer *me*, and I had a vantage point a few feet above the action. The men turned out to be Nazi high command, including Hitler, and the woman on the cart was revealed to be Jewish, by a Star of David tattoo on her hip (yeah, I know, Jews aren't supposed to get tattoos). That was the point the cannibalism started, and the men brought out bone saws and other horrifying cutting implements and set to. No blood, though. Her body ended up strangely dried, like a mummy.
That was the point I woke up and went GAH. I wasn't horrified to the point of being afraid to fall asleep, because my emotional circuits hadn't been engaged during the dream and I was watching it dispassionately, but I was concerned that I'd go back to the dream when I fell asleep again. I didn't, though.
My nightmares tend to involve things like internal parasites, or other things that compromise bodily integrity. The only one of those on Trazodone, which wasn't actually emotionally disturbing enough to be a nightmare, and interesting enough to be more than just a bad dream, was set in some sort of fantasy land. I don't remember the details of the plot, but it seems like there was some sort of quest involved. The character in question - I sometimes looked out through his eyes and sometimes was an observer - dressed in a dark cloak, and had some sort of magical disease or condition that was slowly turning him to stone or a stonelike substance. Only not solid stone, but a sort ot lacework-like stone where you could look through holes and sometimes see all the way through and sometimes see tendons and things (remarkably blood-free, I note). It only affected his forearms at this point, and his hands worked fine. But the sensation of stonelike forearms, of rubbing my thumb along my forearm and feeling the texture of the stonelike stuff and holes, and looking at them and seeing the biological mechanisms at work inside my arm was vivid enough that I had to check my forearms when I woke up. And I still feel that now.
It used to be that tornadoes stalked my nightmares, often seeming semi-sentient and coming after me, but I haven't had one of those in years. I've had a dream or two with tornadoes in them - looking out the window of a train or building and seeing tornadoes - but like the blacked-out dream above, my fear circuit hasn't been engaged during them, so while the tornadoes are cause for concern, they're not frightening, if that makes sense.
None of the things in her "I often or somewhat often dream of..." section of the poll really applied to me. The dreams I remember tend to have some vague intimations of plot, but they never really fit any of those things. I can't even begin to think of any category that they'd fit in.
ETA: How could I forget! My subconscious must be a frustrated architect, because I often dream of houses and apartments that are the central point of the dream - the floorplans and the designs and the architecture. There may be other people or stuff happening, but I'm totally focused on exploring the residence. There's usually doors and windows going off in weird directions, and other improbable architectural features. :D And sometimes the same design shows up in dreams that otherwise have nothing in common.
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That's the stuff that starts going through my head when I'm WAKE and I think of/hear about/see those sushi things...
(And Renji was busy wangsting instead of doing more fun stuff? How very, very inconsiderate of him.)
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Though I do have cleavage. See? Cleavage!
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if we can believe the fannish speculation about him and Ukitake.)no subject
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I've recently had a couple of dreams that featured architecture that weren't straight single-family houses or apartments. I recently had one that was a converted Army barracks (http://telophase.livejournal.com/1113516.html), and then I actually designed a shopping center theoretically based on sustainable architecture (http://telophase.livejournal.com/1057097.html). XD
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Wow, what a dream ... too much Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service?
You can put it into that lifetreks site, but they aren't the best if you specify things like "sushi" vs. just "food."
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And wouldn't you know it - I just had a nightmare. The family couldn't decide what to do about dinner, and I was feeling frustrated and headachey, so I went to lie down. And then I fell asleep and dreamed:
It started out with my actual situation at the moment - napping in the early evening. Suddenly, someone seemed to be flashing a laser pointer into the room through the window. I tried to call out to my husband to tell him what was happening, but I couldn't make a sound. I tried to get up, but I could barely move - I was cocooned in my quilt and could only inch along like a caterpillar or a worm. I was crawling down the hallway to the room where my husband was, fruitlessly and desperately trying to call out. I could only make the faintest squeaking noises.
Turns out I was actually whimpering aloud - the Mr., who was working in the home office on the same floor, eventually heard me and came and woke me.
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I felt the need to comment because your last paragraph is exactly something I've said before, regarding paying attention to architecture and recurring floorplans and whatnot. I could draw most of them from memory! A lot of my dreams (drugs or not) will also have lots of "hidden" features in the buildlings. Secret passages, hiding places, dumbwaiters, you name it. I think I read too many novels about children exploring old houses.