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Bone Detective and Bacon Muffins
I'm watching Bone Detective right now - it's a Discovery Channel show where an archaeologist jets over the world and looks at completely normal mysterious archaeological finds. This one is about the discovery of a Viking burial in Iceland, in Hringsdalur. The show is edited to look like he's called in (er, that's implied) to consult on this thing, so he arrives on the tarmac at a small airport and gets driven by a blonde woman to the archaeological site, which is completely faked. There's only two people, a grid set up, and a few holes. And the gravesite is nicely excavated and the skeleton laid down in it, with, of course, all the burial goods removed.
And it's going between pathetic and hilarious that this guy is advising the DIRECTOR OF ARCHAEOLOGY from a UNIVERSITY how to remove bones from a site. I think the pretense that this is a new site hurts the show more than helps.
Agh! THe narrator just said "He's just been notified of a second burial found at the site!" as if it happened RIGHT THEN. GAAAAAHHHHHHHH.
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Question for you baking peeps:
TOnight I made the Bacon Muffins from this post. I was a bit dubious at the proportions of salt and the lack of a leavening agent, but I always try a recipe exactly the first time, so I know how to mess with it afterwards, if you get what I mean. Anyway, what happened is exactly what you'd expect: tasty but dense "muffins", somewhat resembling deflated Yorkshire puddings.
So ... I assume reducing the salt and/or adding baking powder would help, as they taste quite good and I'd like to try them in a more fluffy state. How much of each, would you suggest?
(What, look it up online? ARE YOU MAD?)
And it's going between pathetic and hilarious that this guy is advising the DIRECTOR OF ARCHAEOLOGY from a UNIVERSITY how to remove bones from a site. I think the pretense that this is a new site hurts the show more than helps.
Agh! THe narrator just said "He's just been notified of a second burial found at the site!" as if it happened RIGHT THEN. GAAAAAHHHHHHHH.
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Question for you baking peeps:
TOnight I made the Bacon Muffins from this post. I was a bit dubious at the proportions of salt and the lack of a leavening agent, but I always try a recipe exactly the first time, so I know how to mess with it afterwards, if you get what I mean. Anyway, what happened is exactly what you'd expect: tasty but dense "muffins", somewhat resembling deflated Yorkshire puddings.
So ... I assume reducing the salt and/or adding baking powder would help, as they taste quite good and I'd like to try them in a more fluffy state. How much of each, would you suggest?
(What, look it up online? ARE YOU MAD?)
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No, just...no.
Thank you for letting me know I can avoid that show like the plague.
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Here is my old Marion Cunningham/Fanny Farmer Cookbook bacon muffin recipe. It works. The bacon should be crisp fried, for sure. I include all the variants because you may want to combine the bacon with, say, whole-wheat flour, or even nuts.
BASIC MUFFINS
2 C white flour
3 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
2 T sugar
1 egg, slightly beaten (just to break it up)
1 C milk
1/4 C melted butter (can sub canola oil; I find the butter gives a better texture)
Preheat oven to 375 F. Grease muffin pans (or USE PAPERS).
Mix together the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar in a large bowl. Add the egg, milk, and butter [I mix them together first, so it's all the dry + all the wet, for a more even blend], stirring only enough to dampen the flour; the batter should NOT be smooth. Spoon into the muffin pans, filling each cup about 2/3 full. Bake for about 20-25 minutes.
BLUEBERY MUFFINS: Use 1/3 or 1/4 cup sugar (depending on your taste). Reserve 1/4 C flour, sprinkle it over 1 C blueberries, stir them into the batter last.
PECAN MUFFINS: Use 1/4 C sugar. Add 1/3 C chopped pecans to the batter. After filling the cups, sprinkle with sugar, cinnamon, and more chopped nuts.
WHOLE-WHEAT MUFFINS: Use 3/4 C whole-wheat flour and 1 C white flour.
DATE OR RAISIN MUFFINS: Add 1/2 C chopped, pitted dates or 1/2 C raisins to the batter.
BACON MUFFINS: Add 3 strips bacon, fried crisp and crumbled, to the batter.
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Thanks! I might do a second batch this weekend - I'm trying to come up with stuff I can take to work and eat for breakfast that's not one of the enormous probably-fat-laden muffins they sell in the bistro. (I usually grab a bagel or a bag of pita chips there, but that's getting waaaaaay boring.)
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*shudders*
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They've convinced the arkys to let them take part of a tooth to test for strontium to see if the skeleton is from Iceland or if he migrated from Europe (to take vengeance on Hring! they ask). SOmehow I get the feeling that the test's already been done and the jaw and teeth they just showed one of the arkys sawing at is a ringer, brought in so they wouldn't screw up the original for TV. XD
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(Bacon is, of course, Nature's perfect food.)
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Mmmm, bacon.
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This bran muffin recipe is very good. (http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,174,152177-225207,00.html) I make the applesauce version with molasses often. Sliced almonds are good in this. Keep them in the fridge.
The carry-to-office breakfast I like best is quiche.
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[replying from other account]
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Mmmmmm, bacon. Everything is better with bacon. Scones with bacon are very tasty.
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*twitch*
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I thought we were over the worst of it by the time we hit the "So, the results are in now!" thirty second after sending the tooth crown off, but nooooo.
Scotty, the host of the show, puts together this huge story of who the skeleton might be, and how he came to Iceland in pursuit of Hring, who injured his back, and then he stabbed Hring and killed him. ETA: He said the guy, who he named "Jan", was a nobleman who came to Iceland in pursuit of Hring. There was a big fight, Hring broke Jan's back on a rock, but didn't kill him, and Jan managed to stab Hring to death. Jan lived on for a while after, with Hring's lands, but was paralyzed and died.
Sum total of evidence:
One saga about the large, angry Hring, who was reputed for breaking men's backs, and who moved to Iceland to avoid a lot of other angry people who wanted his head for killing their kinsmen.
A valley named Hringsdaler (Hring's Valley)
A grave of a guy who wasn't as big as Hring was reputed to be, whose bones show little evidence of arduous work, who had good grave goods, and who had a back injury consistent with being bashed in the back with something, or being broken on a rock, but which had healed. Possibly leaving him a paraplegic. He was not born and raised in Iceland.
A grave of a guy that had been looted and the bones messed up, and the bones of a horse that had been sacrificed at the occasion of burial.
THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
It's definitely time to bring out the Nell icon.
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No, seriously...
What?
I never screwed up assessing an assemblage that badly even when I was an undergraduate.
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Neither do I.
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We have no bacon. I looked.
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Wow.
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Ignorance. Sometimes, it truly is bliss.
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