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2017-05-18 11:43 am
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In which Murderface 2.0 breaks the game

I said I wouldn’t be writing every session up, and I won’t be, but you get this session written up because Murderface McKenzie 2.0 accidentally broke Skyrim and it was hilarious. Well, to me, at least.

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2017-05-16 01:38 pm
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Here's one more moment from my latest Skyrim adventure

45 seconds, you don't need to know Skyrim to know what's going on. All you need to know is that Murderface McKenzie has a perk that keeps him from setting off floor traps, but the same cannot be said for his companion.

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2017-05-16 11:27 am
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All right, I gave up and did it...

So my new Skyrim runthrough with a lady orc tank (named Jehane d'Arc I cannot believe it didn't occur to me to call her Jehane d'Orc) was kind of boring because I couldn't really get into my character and give her a guiding impulse.

So I did it...
warning for GIANT screenshots that I'm not bothering to resize right now )
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2016-10-28 09:32 am

Skyrim!

So the remastered version of Skyrim is now out on the PS4. We bought it yesterday and let it download and install last night so I could play it today. It's also out on the PC, for free if you bought all the DLC previously, and Toby discovered it unlocked early so he started his FOURTH run. This time his character is specializing in one-handed weapons, but I predict she's going to end up a sneaky character doing one-handed because he always goes sneaky.

Anyway, I can't port my PS3 saves over, so it's bye-bye Murderface, alas. But given that I hadn't been playing him much because almost every time he went out he was attacked by an ancient dragon that was above his pay grade that killed him horribly, perhaps not much of a loss. Ah well.

The big question now is: what sort of character am I going to build for my new run? I shall not be writing it up because it was getting rather tedious to make notes while I was playing, so you're all spared that (unless something particularly funny happens). But do I go really sneaky, or go full tank? Do I play a paladin or an ass? Murderface's twin brother or someone completely opposite him? Let me know your opinions!

(Also I stopped playing Skyrim quite so much because I started a replay of Kingdom Hearts II in preparation for the release of KHIII, but hey.)
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2016-08-24 04:23 pm

SOMEONE KIDNAPPED MY WIFE NOW EVERYONE HAS TO DIE

I’m going to do something different for this look into Murderface’s life, by which I mean skipping ahead a couple of play sessions because I wanted to get this down while this extremely frustrating and hideously glitchy play session was still bright in my head.

Bonus: there are videos! Not-so-bonus: they’re filmed with my phone because I’m stuck on the PS3. FINGERS CROSSED I can port a PS3 save to the PS4 when the remastered version comes out, but I’m not holding my breath.

Anyway! Last time Murderface got married to the beauteous Sylgja because she didn’t run screaming from him at first sight, didn’t actively insult him, and seemed happy in his presence, which pretty much ruled out most of the rest of Skyrim’s population. Marriages have been made on worse grounds before. They’ve been settling in together, with a few hiccups here and there, until this, their first enormous challenge as a couple.

If you would like a portrait that perfectly encapsulates Murderface McKenzie’s (and my) rageface during this whole shebang, you can do no better than have a look at @ninjamonkeystudios’ Murderface marker portrait below the cut/jump/what-have-you:

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2016-08-07 06:33 pm

Wedding bells are ringing!

So, in our last session (which was actually part 1 of a long session I did one weekend), Murderface killed him a dragon, discovered he was the prophesied Dragonborn (whatever that was), learned to Shout, got handed YET ANOTHER stupid quest, and decided to throw it all in and get married.

But first!

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2016-08-04 07:46 pm

A momentous moment!

Last time, I promised that Murderface was going to make a momentous decision. He’s been doing a lot of deep thinking.

He’s always out running around Skyrim making money, hardly ever home, because dungeons just don’t loot themselves. He got his family out of Whiterun after overhearing Jarl Asshat’s plans for invasion, but the lakeside manor keeps getting attacked by giants and bandits. He’s on his third horse already, thanks to bandits! (I note that the coachman and the coachman’s horse sit placidly by and never get attacked...Murderface should probably consider what that may mean.)

Housecarl Valdimar’s pretty good at defending the place and Murderface’s daughters are charmingly bloodthirsty, but still there’s only so much one housecarl can do to protect two girls, three chickens, a cow, and a horse when multiple bandits attack. And what of times when Valdimar has to go into town for supplies? And once the girls get a little older, there’s maybe going to be...girl stuff, right? Women’s mysteries? Murderface is pretty sure that there’s a whole world there he’s unfamiliar with and doesn’t understand and maybe he should really outsource that particular education. And finally, he hasn’t been getting a whole lot of action with his current setup, despite trying his best. Women of Skyrim historically haven’t responded well to his signature moves of bumping into them and trapping them against counters, staring at them mutely, jumping up and down on their tables, and reverse-pickpocketing items into their inventories.

So Murderface has finally looked facts squarely in the face, and made what might be the toughest, scariest decision of his life.

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2016-08-01 04:55 pm

Murderface McKenzie: First Class

Right! So it’s been about two weeks since I last posted a Murderface writeup, and that’s because it’s been about two weeks since I played, having been working on other projects. But I have not forgotten Murderface! You won’t escape that easily!

Last time, Murderface did part 1 of a 3-part quest to hunt down the three parts of the legendary Amulet of Galdur, an artifact so powerful associated with a dude so evil that after his death, the amulet was broken into three parts and hidden around Skyrim, guarded by the watchful undead bound to their task forevermore. Murderface figured that it might sell for a few gold.

This time: Murderface goes to school!

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2016-07-15 04:33 pm

Hmph, amateurs

Last time we encountered Murderface he’d interrupted a ritual intended to resurrect the evil Wolf Queen, Potema, and received a whole 1000 septims for saving the free world yet again.

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2016-07-15 10:44 am

And on another note...

...Murderface may have to have a little talk with Valdimar about food safety. He's been storing this hunk of raw venison on top of this cabbage for days.

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2016-07-07 04:34 pm

It's so hard to find good underlings

Welcome back to the Continuing Adventures of an Adventuring Idiot! Murderface is getting better as I gain more hand-eye coordination with the controller, even though the hardest part of any fight is still facing the correct direction.

Last time, Murderface waded through glacial meltwater to kill a giant bug and creepy blind elves. This time, he’s back to his favorite: draugr! Also, there’s a bunny.

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2016-06-27 12:54 pm

Dammit, I ate the grapes

Last time, Murderface brought an axe to a wizard’s duel and was disdained by Valdimar. This time, he stumbles into yet another murder mystery.

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2016-06-27 10:51 am

By the way...

...here's a picture of Murderface I commissioned from drekkydrimm (DA | Tumblr)


Murderface by drekkydrimm on DeviantArt

This is totally the way he would like you remember him.
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2016-06-21 11:30 am

I can see my house from here!

Last time, Murderface killed an orc that was asking for it (literally), and sulkily completed a quest for an ungrateful priestess. This time: wizard duel!

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2016-06-16 03:50 pm

And another clever title goes here

Last time, Murderface visited a library and checked a book out. Well in the “looking at it” sense, not in the “charging it out of the library in a legal manner” sense, because he actually swiped it. This time, I promised that he falls through a trap door!

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2016-06-14 04:15 pm

An educated man

Last installment, Murderface was mostly dealing with vermin problems at home and losing yet another traveling companion. This time, he goes to the library!

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2016-06-13 02:40 pm

Murderface Goes to the Movies

Toby and I went to Warcraft on Friday night, optimistically assuming that while it was probably going to be a terrible movie, the opening-night crowd might be a bit rowdier and thus make at least the experience of viewing it entertaining. Alas, our audience was sober and well-behaved and not a single person screamed “FOR THE HORRRRRRRDE!!” at any point. I was disappoint, because this meant we had only the movie to distract us. Maybe if we’d gone to the 10pm showing, after people had the opportunity to drink before and during it (this was at one of the dinner theatres).

So I asked Murderface what he thought about it.

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2016-06-09 12:20 pm

Alas, poor Rayya

Last episode, Murderface had built his first house out in the country, installed Valdimar, his first housecarl, shoveled money into his pockets and told him to furnish the place, then took his second housecarl, Rayya, out adventuring. Let’s see what happens this time, shall we?

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2016-06-08 07:22 pm

I can do this too!

Things I have said while playing Skyrim:

Watch this! Oh. That's not a necromancer. That's a rock.




Sent from my Apple ][e
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2016-06-06 04:14 pm

Yes, my Thane. Of course, my Thane. Anything you wish, my Thane

Last episode we had all sorts of excitement as our murder hobo non-hero got mixed up yet again with Daedric Princes. This episode: miscellaneous quests day!

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