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Last time, I promised that Murderface was going to make a momentous decision. He’s been doing a lot of deep thinking.

He’s always out running around Skyrim making money, hardly ever home, because dungeons just don’t loot themselves. He got his family out of Whiterun after overhearing Jarl Asshat’s plans for invasion, but the lakeside manor keeps getting attacked by giants and bandits. He’s on his third horse already, thanks to bandits! (I note that the coachman and the coachman’s horse sit placidly by and never get attacked...Murderface should probably consider what that may mean.)

Housecarl Valdimar’s pretty good at defending the place and Murderface’s daughters are charmingly bloodthirsty, but still there’s only so much one housecarl can do to protect two girls, three chickens, a cow, and a horse when multiple bandits attack. And what of times when Valdimar has to go into town for supplies? And once the girls get a little older, there’s maybe going to be...girl stuff, right? Women’s mysteries? Murderface is pretty sure that there’s a whole world there he’s unfamiliar with and doesn’t understand and maybe he should really outsource that particular education. And finally, he hasn’t been getting a whole lot of action with his current setup, despite trying his best. Women of Skyrim historically haven’t responded well to his signature moves of bumping into them and trapping them against counters, staring at them mutely, jumping up and down on their tables, and reverse-pickpocketing items into their inventories.

So Murderface has finally looked facts squarely in the face, and made what might be the toughest, scariest decision of his life.

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Right! So it’s been about two weeks since I last posted a Murderface writeup, and that’s because it’s been about two weeks since I played, having been working on other projects. But I have not forgotten Murderface! You won’t escape that easily!

Last time, Murderface did part 1 of a 3-part quest to hunt down the three parts of the legendary Amulet of Galdur, an artifact so powerful associated with a dude so evil that after his death, the amulet was broken into three parts and hidden around Skyrim, guarded by the watchful undead bound to their task forevermore. Murderface figured that it might sell for a few gold.

This time: Murderface goes to school!

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Last time we encountered Murderface he’d interrupted a ritual intended to resurrect the evil Wolf Queen, Potema, and received a whole 1000 septims for saving the free world yet again.

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...Murderface may have to have a little talk with Valdimar about food safety. He's been storing this hunk of raw venison on top of this cabbage for days.

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Welcome back to the Continuing Adventures of an Adventuring Idiot! Murderface is getting better as I gain more hand-eye coordination with the controller, even though the hardest part of any fight is still facing the correct direction.

Last time, Murderface waded through glacial meltwater to kill a giant bug and creepy blind elves. This time, he’s back to his favorite: draugr! Also, there’s a bunny.

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Last time, Murderface brought an axe to a wizard’s duel and was disdained by Valdimar. This time, he stumbles into yet another murder mystery.

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...here's a picture of Murderface I commissioned from drekkydrimm (DA | Tumblr)


Murderface by drekkydrimm on DeviantArt

This is totally the way he would like you remember him.
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Last time, Murderface killed an orc that was asking for it (literally), and sulkily completed a quest for an ungrateful priestess. This time: wizard duel!

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Last time, Murderface visited a library and checked a book out. Well in the “looking at it” sense, not in the “charging it out of the library in a legal manner” sense, because he actually swiped it. This time, I promised that he falls through a trap door!

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