telophase: (Default)
telophase ([personal profile] telophase) wrote2017-01-01 10:22 pm

So we went to see Assassin's Creed...

I was there for kicking ass and looking good but unfortunately there was way too much ass.

Seriously, who takes a look at the Assassin's Creed video game and decides to structure a movie around THE MOST BORING PART OF THE GAME? And if I said "Assassin's Creed movie" to you, wouldn't you expect it to open with a giant set piece involving tons of action? Instead, it's like 20 minutes of poorly-lit random crap happening that's never explained very well before you even get to any Assassin/Templar fight scenes.

I highly recommend watching Velayudham, the Bollywood Tamil ripoff of Assassin's Creed. It's 2.5 hours of violence alternating with slapstick comedy and WTFery in that way that only the Indian film industries can do.

Not to mention that it far outshines the Hollywood version in one VERY IMPORTANT ASPECT:


DOUBLE AIR ASSASSINATIONS

Velayudham
Assassin's Creed (2016)
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karanguni: (Default)

[personal profile] karanguni 2017-01-02 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
HAHAHA THIS BASICALLY REPLICATES MY RANT after a friend dragged me to go see it. God above SO SHITTY.
jenna_thorn: T-Rex holding a teddy bear (dinobear)

DVDs in the sale bin.

[personal profile] jenna_thorn 2017-01-03 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
Well, drat, that's disappointing, as the kid and i were looking forward to seeing it.

So we'll wait and see it when it's cheap. Thanks for the heads up.
jenna_thorn: text: oh you young things and your illegible fonts (feeling old)

Re: DVDs in the sale bin.

[personal profile] jenna_thorn 2017-01-08 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah yes, modern cinematography, where the soundtrack cues you as to whether the shadow on a dark screen are in combat or having a romantic moment.