telophase: (Koumyou - hee)
telophase ([personal profile] telophase) wrote2011-09-22 05:29 pm

Awesome email

And it seems that the FBI isn't proofreading their emails too carefully before sending them out these days...


Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
FBI Headquarters in Washington , D.C.
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington , D.C. 20535-0001
Website: www.fbi.gov

9/22/2011

We, office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) hereby write to inform you that we caught a diplomatic lady called Mrs. Vernon Wallace at ( John F Kennedy International Airport ) here in New York with consignment box filed with united state dollars.

Meanwhile, base on our interview to the diplomat she said that the consignment box belongs to you, that she was sent to deliver the consignment box to your doorstep not knowing that the content of the box is money. The diplomat also said that her first transit in the state was at Cincinnati Northern Kentucky International Airport Ohio.

Now, the diplomat is under detention in our office(FBI) security, and we cannot release her until we carry out our proper investigation on how this huge amount of money managed to be yours before we will release her with the box. So, in this regards you are to reassure and prove to us that the money you are about to receive is legal by sending us the Award Ownership Certificate showing that the money is not illegal.

Note, that the Award Ownership Certificate must to be secured from the office of the senate president in Nigeria, because that is the only office that will issue you the original Award Ownership Certificate of this funds since it has been confirmed that the fund was originated from Nigeria.

You are advised to forward immediately the Award Ownership Certificate if you have it with you, but if you did not have it we will urge you to contact our representative in Nigeria bellow this message to help you secure the Award Ownership Certificate if at all you did not have it.

Name: Dr. Ernest Ebi
Email: ernest_ebi1@rocketmail.com

Furthermore, we are giving you only but 3 working business days to forward the requested Award Ownership Certificate.

Please note that we shall get back to you after the 3 working business days, that if you didn’t come up with the certificate we shall confiscate the funds into World Bank account then charge you for money laundry, but if you forward the Award Ownership Certificate then we will release diplomat with your consignment box also gives you every back up on the money.

You know we have issue of terrorist attacks, so do not waste time, clear your file by providing these certificate and get in touch with us to resolve this case as soon as possible.
Thanks for your understanding, co-operation and continued patronage.

FBI Director
Robert S. Mueller, III
(Gmail's comment: "This email may not be from who it says it's from." No shit, Sherlock!)
trobadora: (giggle by _inbetween_)

[personal profile] trobadora 2011-09-22 10:44 pm (UTC)(link)
*giggles*

I do think these emails are sort of awesome. Sometimes. *g*

[identity profile] telophase.livejournal.com 2011-09-22 10:46 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sort of in awe of the sheer chuztpah of the IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS WE ARREST YOU FOR MONEY LAUNDERING!! bit.

[identity profile] catystorm.livejournal.com 2011-09-22 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I cracked up at the "Cincinnati Northern Kentucky International Airport Ohio." I would hope that the FBI would be well aware that CVG is actually in Kentucky.

That is an amazing e-mail.

[identity profile] telophase.livejournal.com 2011-09-23 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
I love that the Nigerian government uses Rocketmail. Seems legit!

[identity profile] chibi-nasu.livejournal.com 2011-09-23 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
You better hurry up and request that Award Ownership Certificate from the very reliable-sounding Nigerian man! You don't want to be charged for money laundry!!!!

[identity profile] telophase.livejournal.com 2011-09-23 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
By the FBI's Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division, no less! And they'll be really upset if I make them go to the trouble of arresting me for money laundry because that's time they have to take away from arresting terrorists!
chomiji: Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach in his Hollow form, with the caption Surprise! (ichigo hollow-surprise!)

[personal profile] chomiji 2011-09-23 02:44 am (UTC)(link)

The FBI has had a busy year, apparently!

[identity profile] telophase.livejournal.com 2011-09-23 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
No wonder they're not catching terrorists, since they've had to devote so many man-hours to hunting down recipients of bequests, winners of lotteries, and beneficiaries of funds!